


To the States

by sentimental_boy



Series: Eggsy Unwin shorts [7]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: F/M, I made an outline for the first time ever for this, Not quite slow burn because I can't handle writing it, but this is probably as close as I'll ever get, there's some long distance relationship for a while there, this is a prequel until chapter 6
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:14:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 28,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23366017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sentimental_boy/pseuds/sentimental_boy
Summary: You and Eggsy meet as teenagers, getting close over the years before he's off to the Marines and you're off to America with a mysterious offer from a long lost family friend named Champ. You and Eggsy admit your feelings for each other before you leave and make a long-distance relationship work before you're brought together again.
Relationships: Gary "Eggsy" Unwin/Reader
Series: Eggsy Unwin shorts [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1409980
Comments: 5
Kudos: 36





	1. Chapter 1

Eggsy fucking _hates_ Dean. His mom’s fiancee is a total dick and she hasn’t seen it this whole time. Now he’s living with them and taking over more and more every day. Today was the first time Dean hit him. He tried to fight back but Dean knocked him on his ass straight away. Of course, his mom tried to defend him but one look from Dean and she told Eggsy to leave. He knows it’s out of love. That she doesn’t want him hurt worse and doesn’t know what else to do at this point. It’s been a gradual progression from bad to worse. Doesn’t make him any less angry.

So here he is, sat outside their little corner of the estates, anger building with nowhere for it to go. He shouldn't be the one kicked out of his home. Dean should be the one out on the curb with nowhere to go. He could always break into his room; hide out there. But he's not ready to sink to that level for Dean of all people. Dean has already taken so much from him, he’s not about to slink around in his own home.

“Hey, what are you doing out here in the cold?” A woman’s voice brings him out of his thoughts.

When he looks up he sees one of his neighbors; an older woman he’s seen around with her daughter. “Oh,” He lets out a breath and shrugs trying to seem casual while he thinks of an excuse. “Uh, it don’t bother me.”

She gives him a _look_ only a mom can manage. It reminds him of the ones his mom used to give him before she was too hopped up on drugs to worry about him.

“I get that you need your street cred around here with the other boys, especially since that awful man moved in with his dogs.”

Eggsy lets out a laugh at that.

“But you don’t need to act tough around me. You want to talk?” He can see that she’s looking at the blooming bruises on his face as she asks.

“Not really. Thanks, though.” He finds that his thanks are sincere, not flippant like they would be to anyone else. likely because the offer is sincere.

“Alright. Well, are you hungry?”

“Oh, you don’t have ta do that.”

“I know.” She shrugs. “I’m a maternal sort. I see a kid sitting with bruises in the cold— _in this part of town_ — I have to at least feed him.”

When he hesitates, she continues.

“And between you and me, my daughter could do with meeting some people her age. Sometimes I regret homeschooling her. She’s becoming quite antisocial.”

He shrugs. “Alright.”

She nods. “Thank you for humoring me.”

He lets out a laugh. “Can I help you with your bags?”

“Oh thank god, my plan worked.” She says as she hands over her groceries. “I didn’t want to carry these up the steps and I knew you had manners.”

“If you wanted help with your groceries, you could’ve asked.” He grins.

“So, you’re not against others asking for help, but you don’t want to do it yourself, got it.”

He looks over at her. “Not even my mates call me out like that.”

“You seem like you can handle the truth.”

“Uh, thanks, I guess.” There’s a beat of silence. “Name’s Eggsy, by the way.”

—0—

You’re sitting on the sofa, finishing up your homework for the day when your mom comes in the door empty-handed.

“Hey, I thought you were— going shopping.” You see a guy your age following with the bags midway through your sentence. Upon further inspection, you realize you’ve seen him around. “You know, if you needed help with the groceries, you could’ve texted me.”

“Any other time, I would’ve, but Eggsy here was kind enough to offer and I asked him to stay for dinner. Figured you’d be about done with your homework and the two of you could watch TV while I make the food.”

The whole thing seems odd to you. None of the boys you’ve seen around here— including but not limited to Eggsy— have seemed the type to help a stranger with groceries. But don’t judge a book and all that, you guess. Your mom has always been the first to feed the homeless or pick up a stray, so it’s not shocking that she’d ask the neighbor kid who looks a little worse for wear to join the two of you for dinner.

“Sounds good. What do you like watching, Eggsy?” You stand and make your way to the sofa.

He shrugs, taking a seat next to you. “I’m good with whatever.”

“Any preference in genre? Comedy, action, romance?”

“I guess I could use a laugh right now.”

“Okay, we have somewhere to start.”

Eggsy can’t help but take in the difference between your house and his while you browse. It’s roughly the same layout but your mom has made it a _home_. He remembers when his house looked something like this. When his father was around, even after, for some time. Then Dean moved in and his mates— or _dogs_ as your mom called them— might as well have too and the place is always trashed.

“Nice set up you ‘ave here.”

“Thanks, it’s all my mom.”

“Is it just the two of you here?”

You hesitate, thinking of your late mother. “Yeah.”

He can tell there’s more you’re not saying. He knows what loss looks like when he sees it, but he’s not going to force you to share. “How long ‘ave you been livin’ here? I’ve seen you around but only recently.”

“About three months now. What about you?”

“Oh, I’ve lived 'ere my whole life.”

You nod, glancing over at him. There’s a clear bruise darkening on one of his cheekbones and one on his jawline. Both were only red patches of skin when he came in. You hesitate to ask about it— you only met him minutes ago— but you do anyway.

“Those bruises look fresh, do they hurt?”

He shrugs. “I’m fine.”

“Okay, well, do you want some ice or something? They look painful.”

He hesitates to accept the offer, afraid to look weak. Sure, it's pride, but looking weak is also how he got the bruises in the first place. He glances over at you and the concern he sees in your eyes convinces him he’s found a safe place here. “Some ice might help.”

“Alright, I’ll be right back.” You stand and hand him the remote. “Feel free to put on whatever you want.”

He finds himself staring off, thinking about his fight with Dean instead of looking through titles. He has to remove himself from the memory when he feels himself getting angry. That’s not something he wants to be here with these new people. So he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. When he opens them, his gaze falls on a picture on the side table next to him. It’s in black and white, showing a younger version of your mom, holding a baby, and there’s another woman with her arms around your mom’s waist as she smiles down at the baby over her shoulder. Then he remembers asking if it was just the two of you living here and the grim finality in your voice when you said yes.

You come back with the ice pack to find Eggsy looking at the old family portrait that’s set on the table next to him. “Here you go.”

Eggsy jumps at your voice and rushes to accept the towel-wrapped ice pack. “Thanks.” He doesn’t know why he feels like you caught him doing something he shouldn’t. The picture is in plain sight in your living room. And now he’s acting weird and you don’t know why. It’s clear the woman in the picture was your other mom; he doesn’t want you to think he has a problem with it but he’s not going to bring it up either. “Is that baby in the picture you?” He settles on asking.

“Yeah. And yes the other woman was my mom. She was killed six months ago.”

“Shit, I’m sorry. What happened?”

“She was in the military. Killed in action.”

“Same thing happened to my dad ten years ago.”

“It’s shit, isn’t it?”

“It really is. Hey, did the guy who broke the news give your mum a favor?”

“What?”

He grabs the chain of his necklace, pulling it out of his shirt to reveal an odd insignia as the pendant. “When my dad died, some bloke came to my house and tried to give this medal of valor to my mum. It’s got a number on the back that grants us a favor of our choice whenever we want.”

You eye the medal hanging around his neck. “Never seen anything like it.”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to make this about me. As I’ve gotten older I’ve been doubting the truthfulness of it. It’s weird, yeah?”

“Yeah, that’s not what happened to us. We got a letter.”

“Oh. I’m sorry; don’t get the chance to talk about it often, is all.”

“I get it. There aren’t many people who understand. At least not that I know and I’m not quite ready for a support group. Does it get better? Missing them?”

“I don’t know if I’m qualified to answer that. I was too young to understand what 'appened at the time but I have good memories of 'im. I still wonder what he would think of me and our home life now. I hope it’ll get better for you, though.”

“Thanks.” You pause. “So, before we had _that_ conversation, I was going to ask what happened to your face.”

“Oh, disagreement with my soon-to-be stepdad. My mum told me to leave after he hit me.”

“Eggsy, I’m sorry. That’s fucked up that you’re the one who got kicked out.”

Eggsy lets out a humorless laugh. That small bit of validation took a huge weight off his chest. “That’s what _I_ thought. I’m just glad your mum found me and convinced me to let ‘er help.”

You take a second to look him over. “Me too.”

—0—

After dinner, Eggsy offers to help clean up but your mom shoos the two of you away, happy you’re getting along.

“I should be getting 'ome, then.” He says, despite the fact that facing Dean is the last thing in the world he wants to do.

“Are you going to be okay?”

The concern you’re leveling at him isn’t something he’s felt for a long time from anyone. He's surprised at how nice it feels but he’s not sure what to do with it so he shrugs it off. “Gotta face ‘im sometime.”

“Okay.”

If Eggsy isn’t mistaken, you sound… sad.

“Let me give you my number before you go.”

He takes his phone out and starts a new contact before handing it over.

“There, text me when you get home and let me know what happens.”

“Alright, thank you for both for havin’ me tonight. It means a lot.”

“You’re welcome anytime, Eggsy.” Your mom says. “If you need to come back tonight, we have a couch and extra blankets.”

“Thank you, really. Don’t remember the last time anyone showed me this much warmth and kindness.”

Your mom lets out a breath before going over and wrapping him in a hug. He freezes at first, then slowly relaxes, patting her on the back.

“You have to know that if you say that sort of thing around here, this is where you’re going to end up.” She squeezes him one more time before she lets go.

He lets out a laugh. “Got it.”

He takes a step toward you and you close the distance, going in for your own hug. "Be safe, Eggsy. My mom meant what she said. Don't be afraid to come back here."

He nods. "I know how to survive— when to pick a fight. He lives with me, has his mates over all the time, and if they're not in my house, they're outside waitin' to harass me. I'm not stupid enough ta pick a fight with 'em."

"Good. I'm glad we had the chance to properly meet, even if the circumstances are shitty."

He gives you a crooked grin. "Me too."

—0—

A while after Eggsy leaves, you still haven't stopped thinking about him. Spending time with him has shown you how vastly different he is than the arrogant boy you assumed he was before. From what you saw tonight, his greatest flaw appears to be his fashion sense. When he texts you, your heart jumps into your throat. It's a new feeling for you.

>Hey just wanted to let you know that I'm safe in my room. There was only a mild run-in with Dean. (He’s my stepdad, don’t know if I ever mentioned him by name.)

>>Glad to hear it, although even a minor run-in doesn’t sound good.

>Any time I see him it’s at least a run in. Most of the time it graduates to an encounter.

>>I know you’re being funny but :(:( are you okay?

>I’m good, promise.

You debate asking further, not wanting to pry, but you figure it’s less pressing over text. If he doesn’t want to answer, he can ignore you and say he fell asleep.

>>I know we only met today, but you can talk to me. What happened?

>I appreciate it, but it really was nothing. Called me a pussy then said I was being dramatic leaving for so long. Worried my mum, I guess. I think she feels bad for telling me to leave.”

>>Maybe if you get a minute alone with her you could tell her that you know she’s protecting you in the only way she knows how? If you can stand it. I know it’s not her fault he’s treating you like this, but you’re her son. It is her responsibility to keep you safe. I’m sorry you have to deal with this.

>Yeah, I’m trying not to resent her for it. I’ll see what I can manage next time we have a minute together.

>>I’m always here to listen, Eggsy. I mean it, I’m homeschooled and only have like 2 other friends.

>Thanks. I’ll take you up on that.

>While we’re talking about it, you can talk to me too. Doesn’t matter what’s going on with me, I’ll happily listen. Could probably use the distraction anyway.

>>Deal.

—0—

From then on, Eggsy started confiding in you. Sometimes it would be a text lamenting Dean’s latest bullshit; other times, he’ll show up at your door with more wounds, insisting that he’s fine but needed to get away.

You got to know each other better and spent so much time together that you started picking up the same hobbies. Parkour was one such hobby and it was thanks to this that you found yourself knocking on Eggsy’s second-story window.

When the curtains open, you see Eggsy’s furrowed brows raise to his hairline as he scrambles to open the window. He grabs you, hauling you inside and shutting the window behind him.

“What the hell are you doin’ out there?”

“I’m trying something new. You don’t want me running into Dean and I want to hang out with you.”

“We could’ve gone somewhere, or I could’ve come over like we always do. Did you forget how ta text?”

You shrug. “I love my mom, but you know how she is.”

“Helicopter mum, yeah. It’s sweet, though.”

“Sure, but I’d like to be a teenager and hang out with my friends. No parents. Anyway, I thought it was time I see where you live.”

“Well, was it worth scalin’ the fuckin' buildin’?” He lets out a laugh as he gestures to the room.

“It’s about what I expected.”

He shrugs. “So there’s really no reason you’re here?”

“No, I thought we could hang out. We can still go somewhere else if you’d rather, though.”

“This is fine.” He pauses. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Did something happen?”

“Does something 'ave to be wrong for me to be glad to see my friend? Gotta work on that.”

“That’s not what I—”

“I know that.” He elbows you before he goes to sit on his bed. “Come on, then.” He pats the spot next to him.

It’s almost awkward as you sit there in silence, but soon enough, he’s talking again.

“You know, everyday livin’ under the same roof as Dean is shit. You make it better.”


	2. Chapter 2

You’re 18 when an older man with a thick Kentucky drawl approaches you. He’s oddly familiar to you and it’s not only because your late mother was from Kentucky before she met your mom here in London and decided to settle down. You feel like you've seen his face before but you can’t place where. So, when this strange older man asks if he can take a seat at your table, you let him.

“The name’s Champ.” He offers his hand.

You shake his hand but offer only a hello in return.

“I know you’re suspicious of me. You’re right to be, too. A strange man comes up, asks to join you, and tells you his name is _Champ_. Goin’ by the look on your face, I’m lucky you agreed. Can I ask why you did?”

“That phrasing is interesting. You’re trying to make me feel like I have a choice in answering your question while— with the very same question— trying to make me feel obligated to answer you. I would need a whole lot more information before you could make me feel obligated to do anything.”

He lets out a laugh. “Fair enough. I’m just glad you’re willin’ to listen. Now, I’m currently head of a whiskey distillery in Kentucky. Before that, I was in the military with your mama. Back then— even now, unfortunately— it wasn’t the best time for women in uniform. I was one of the few who took her side, stood with her when that’s what I needed to do. We got real close. I hope that’ll be enough background so you won’t run screamin’ when I tell you that I’ve been keepin’ an eye on you since I heard about her passin’.”

“Well, I’m not running, but I’m not sure how to feel about it.”

He nods. “Understandable. I mean it in the most paternal way I can without actually bein’ related to you. Anyway, I'll get right to it before I lose ya. I have a position open, and I wanted to give you a shot at it. My company is very successful, pays even better, but it is in America.”

“What, and I get a shot at this great job because you knew my mother?”

“She’s our common ground, the reason I’ve looked halfway around the world for a candidate, but I told you, I’ve been keeping an eye on you. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t think you could _earn_ a place in my company.”

“And what _is_ this job you’re offering me?”

“If you accepted, I would fly you out, all-expenses-paid, and you could spend some time at the distillery. I’d show you around, you’d see how we run things, all the gears it takes to make such a big machine work, see where you fit in.”

“And what if I find that I don’t fit in?”

“Then you got a free trip to see first hand where your mama came from.” Champ can tell you’re still trepidatious. “Look, I can’t make you trust me. I've met your other mama twice and I know your mama talked about me to her. Go fact check; look us up on the internet.” He slides a business card across the table. “And if you’re worried about taking advantage of an old man, _I have the money_.”

You pocket the card. “I have friends here. My mom is here. This is where my mother chose to settle down before she died. I wouldn’t know how to leave it.”

“That’s understandable. Go home, do your research, and call me if you want to take me up on any part of my offer. I’m happy to take you on an all-expenses-paid trip even if it was only because I knew your mama. She raised you your whole young life, she left an impression on you. I— well, think of me as an uncle you never knew you had, if it helps. I want to do this for ya because she was family and now you are too. You can be, anyway, if you choose it.”

—0—

Your mom sighs after you give her the condensed version of your interaction with Champ. “Yes, I know exactly who you’re talking about. Champ was very close to your mother. I met him twice. Once at our wedding and once at her funeral. He seemed like a good man and I trust your mother’s judgment. But if you decide to do this, you have to keep both eyes open. Before your mother died, her whole career, actually, there was something else going on. I never told you because you were young and then she was gone and there was no point. I know the military is big and complex and her job was always top secret, but I was her _wife_. When it came down to it, I trusted her enough to not push the subject, but that man was always there. He was always the one she was talking to before she left. She said that it was moral support, that he had been in the shit with her so sometimes she could talk about these things with him. I trusted her. I still trust that she told me all she could when everything about her job was top-secret. But I was never stupid. I talked to some other people who had spouses in the military. Yes, they had worries and their spouses had things they could'nt share, but whatever your mother was doing was something else. I’m not saying it was related to Champ, but having him pop up like this right after you turn 18—”

“Well, it’s been a while. I’m almost 19 now.”

Your mom tables whatever she's about to say so she can watch you realize that the difference between 18 and 'almost 19' has never mattered and doesn't now. “It’s suspicious. At the very least, it brings all my questions back. But like I said, I trust your mother to this day and they were close. If you decide to take him up on any part of his offer, keep a lookout, is all I’m saying.”

“Yeah, for sure. Part of me thinks he had me the minute he mentioned mom, but I’m going to do more research and see where I fall.”

She nods. “We raised a level headed girl. I trust that you’ll be safe.”

—0—

This has been a _process_. You didn’t have to do much digging into the distillery, it’s been a staple in your household for as long as you can remember. Thinking back, when you were younger, your mother did mention something about being friends with the owner of the brand. You wrote it off as another strange story from mom as you tend to do as a kid.

So, confirming his story wasn't the issue. Your own indecisiveness was what made this situation a process. You’re still not sure what you’re doing, but you told your mom that you’re taking him up on his offer. You even made the phone call to Champ himself. As of right now, you’re only looking into the company. But you and your mom both know that you’ll be moving halfway across the world if you decide you like it there.

You love your mom, but you’ve known for a while now that you’re going to leave the nest sooner than later. If you’re being honest with yourself, Eggsy has been the biggest reason for you to stay and you haven’t told him about any of this. It’s why you’re at his window, hesitating to knock for the first time since you first scaled this building to see him. Before you can bring your hand to the window, the curtains open and you see his smiling face.

“I thought I 'eard somethin’ out there.”

“You should be familiar enough with the sounds of me climbing your wall by now, Eggsy.” You say as you climb in.

“I am, that’s why I thought it was odd you was fucking about out there for so long and I never 'eard a knock.” He closes the window behind you.

“I— Eggsy, I have something to tell you.”

—0—

The first thing that goes through Eggsy’s head is that maybe— _maybe_ you’ve been developing feelings for him. He can’t think too long on that possibility because he caught feelings for you the day he met you and they’ve only gotten stronger over the last three years. Sometimes, there are quiet moments between you where he thinks that you would be amenable to his advances but he discards the thought as soon as it comes. He’s a great sport when girls turn him down. He knows that if you're going to treat dating like a game that sometimes you're going to lose. He doesn’t know if he could handle it if you rejected him. Not when you already have something that— if left unencumbered by romance— _will_ last a lifetime.

So once again, he pushes those feelings away and focuses on the reality at hand.

“What is it that has you so worked up?”

“I— I’m going to America.”

Given your grave tone, the sentence hits him like a brick. He doesn’t know what to say at first— which of his questions to voice— but the one that finally makes it out is “What, forever?” He doesn’t like the resulting pause.

“I don’t know yet.”

“When did you— why America? Does this 'ave to do with your mum?”

“A few weeks ago—”

“A few _weeks_ ago? You started planning this _a few weeks ago_ and I’m hearin' about it now?”

“I didn’t want to upset you, Eggsy. I love you, and I value our friendship _so_ much. It’s a hard decision and you’re the only reason it is.”

He lets out a breath. “I’m sorry, I’m— I’m not mad. I just— we’re friends. Best friends. I need you to know that you can always come to me, even if you don't think I'll like the subject. If you need to do this, if you think it’ll make you happy, I’m not going to try to talk you out of it.”

You lean in and wrap your arms around him. “Thank you, Eggsy.”

“Course.” He squeezes you like he could make you stay if he gives you a good enough hug. He knows this is the first part of an extended goodbye, though.

“So, I cut you off earlier. Why America?”

“It does have to do with my mom a bit. A guy she served with when she was in the military tracked me down. I guess they were close. Like, you and me, close. You’re going to hate me for trying to get myself murdered, but when he approached me, I didn’t know who he was. He was so familiar, though, so when he asked to join me, I let him.”

Eggsy laughs. “Like he’s the first strange man you’ve let buy you a drink.”

“You roll your eyes. Don’t slut-shame me, Unwin. I swear you’d be a complete fuck boy if you didn’t have me around.”

“I didn’t say nothin’ about it!” He holds his hands up in surrender.

“Anyway, we’re 18 and I’ve been homeschooled. I don’t know when you think I’ve found the time to be a slut, or with who.”

Eggsy has to stop himself from mentioning that he’s been here the whole time. “Well, there have been two strangers in bars— _that I know of_. Anyway, we got derailed again. What was up with this guy?”

“He told me about his distillery and how he knew my mom, offered me an all-expenses-paid trip to Kentucky to check out his company and told me I had a place there if I wanted it.”

“I don’t know, mate. Sounds too good to be true.”

“I was skeptical, trust me. He told me to go home and fact check, talk to my mom.”

“So, this is all because he knew your mum before she passed?”

“Well, she didn’t pass, she was killed.”

He winces. “I know, sorry.”

You shake your head. “No, I didn’t mean to snap at you.” You pat his thigh. “And to answer your question: he said that he’s loaded and would be happy to provide a free trip because he knew my mom, but it's also because of me.”

“How could it be about _you_ if you've never met him before?”

“I guess he’s been keeping an eye on me and my mom. After my mother died, my mom would get money sometimes. She never knew who it was from and I only learned about it the other day, but we figure it was him. He said that based on what he’s seen— I’m assuming grades and shit— that he wants me to come because he thinks I’d be an asset. He said to think of him as an uncle. That he was my mom’s chosen family and he can be mine too.”

“Well, shit, I guess that checks out.”

“Seems like it.”

“So, you don’t know if you’re stayin’?”

“Right now I’m only going to check things out. I told him I’m only in it for the free trip but I know he saw through me.”

“Then you must not have been tryin’ to convince him of it. You’re a damn good liar when you want to be.”

“Yeah, it was kind of a joke but I wanted him to know that I’m not committing to anything yet.”

“So I’ll see you again either way?”

“Eggs, of course you’ll see me again. I’m not about to leave you behind.”

He wants to ask how you’re going to manage that. Wants to tell you that it sure feels like you’re leaving him behind. But he can tell that you don’t have any solid answers yet. This whole situation is new for you; the last thing you need is to worry about him. “I have some news too.”

"And you let me keep going about all that for so long?"

"Like it ain't the most excitin' thing to happen to either of us."

"Alright, well tell me your thing."

“I—” He looks down at his hands. Knows he can't handle seeing your face when he breaks it to you. "I’m joinin’ the marines.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

He chances a glance at you and the fear, the pain in your eyes is exactly why he couldn’t bring himself to look you in the eye when he said it. “Been thinkin’ about it for a while now. I know I can’t go to any of them fancy schools. What else am I gonna do?”

“Literally anything else. And I don’t know what you’re implying about yourself, but you’re smart, Eggsy. That's Dean talking, right now. I know it’s hard but you can’t let him get into your head like that.”

“I know I ain't dumb. But I don’t 'ave any money and you know what jobs are like out there. Hell, you’re going to _America_ to look into one. I know you don’t like it, especially with how it panned out for our parents but it ain’t always like that.”

“No, you just learn to take orders and fight blindly for people who don’t give a shit about you.”

“Please.” He murmurs. “I’ve already 'ad this fight with my mum so many times. And she’s the reason I’m doin’ it.”

You sigh. “I— Eggsy, I’m not trying to victim blame—”

“That sentence always ends well.”

“Eggsy, I’m sorry, but your mom is an adult and it’s not your job to get her out of this relationship.”

“I don’t even know if she’ll let me ‘elp ‘er when I’m in a position to, but I ‘ave ta try. This— this is the only way for me to be in a position to ‘elp em any time soon.”

“This is what I’m doin’. I’m sorry if you’re worried.”

You sigh. “Of course I’m worried. I know how much you care about your family but how are you going to get out? How are _you_ going to be once you can come home? Scarred for life?”

“At least it’ll be on my own terms. I won’t be fuckin’ trapped ‘ere. I can’t ‘andle being Dean’s bitch any longer. At least this way, when I come back I’ll know how to fight.”

“Eggs, there are so many other ways to go about doing this. We will help you. You know my mom would let you live with us for as long as you need while you figure it out and get on your feet.”

He shakes his head. “I 'ave ta make somethin' outta myself. After everythin' you’ve seen me deal with, you don’t understand that?”

“I understand it, Eggsy, but we’re 18. I know there’s a ton of pressure right now, but we’re young. Come stay with us and let the people who care about you help you work toward your goals.”

“And what am I supposed to do when you decide you like it in America? I love your mum but me an’ 'er livin' together alone? You know that ain’t gonna work.”

You sit in silence for a minute. “So I don’t go to America. Will you stay?”

He furrows his brows and searches your face long enough that you start shifting where you’re sat next to him on the bed. “You really mean that, don’t you?”

“Of course I do. If I have to sort my future out without the help of my rich, long lost, not uncle to save you from the fucking military, then that’s what I’ll do.”

He leans in and wraps his arms around you again, tighter this time. “And that’s why I can’t let you do it.” He murmurs before he sits back. “You know me. Normally I’d say this is too good to be true—”

"You did say that at first."

"Well, for once, it don’t seem like it is. I’m so happy for you.”

“Well, for the record, I hate what you’re doing but if this is what you think you have to do, I’m not letting you go without telling you this. I love you, Eggsy Unwin. You’ll always have me. Even if I’m 4,000 miles and a 4 hour time difference away.”

“I know. I love you too.” It hurts to say it without _saying_ it but it’s also better than not saying it at all.

—0—

Turns out, there’s a fuckton more to Statesman than meets the eye. Toward the end of your trip, Champ sat you down and asked what you thought. Throughout your stay, you noticed a few things that seemed out of place or overboard for a distillery so you took the opportunity to confront him about it. When you did, he showed you all of what Statesman really is. Secret spy agency and all.

“Not to look a gift horse in the mouth here, but why am I allowed to see this?”

“Those things you noticed were a test. We planted a few things here and there. If you didn’t notice them or didn’t investigate, weren’t interested, whatever, I knew you for sure didn’t have what it takes. Congratulations. You passed the first test.”

“You know what’s interesting about every interaction with you? At the end of it, I only have more questions. Now, I’m fascinated by all this but how do you know you can trust me?”

“Now that you know our agency exists, we can be a little more candid about what ‘keeping an eye on you’ actually means. Yes, I kept track of your grades, any volunteer work you did, projects you were interested in etcetera. But I also kept track of _you_ , and by extension your friend, Eggsy. Little rough around the edges, but he’s a good kid, I think. More than that, you are. And you have potential. Eggsy is your best friend in the world and your first instinct was to keep our first meeting from him.”

“We’re close, I tell him everything, but he’s also protective. If I decided not to take you up on your offer, I didn’t want to deal with him telling me that I need to be careful."

“It’s been two days of tours and explanations and you haven’t breathed one word to him or your mom.”

“Well, you were pretty clear.”

“That wouldn’t stop most people. Do you know how many people we’ve had to amnesia dart right before they went and blabbed about national security to their besties over facebook messenger?”

“I’m guessing a lot?”

He nods. “Not you.”

There’s a long minute where neither of you say anything. He leaves that “not you” to echo and sink in. A minute for you to realize that he didn’t show you a secret spy organization for fun.

“So?” He asks, a minute later.

“So what? I don’t know where to begin with any of this. You think that I even have the _potential_ for all this?”

“I do. There are programs you can go through here, get the same degree you’d get anywhere else, but you have a guaranteed job once you’re done. One of the pros of doing our program instead of going to a fancy college is that as part of our general ed, you learn the intricacies of how Statesman runs. Most see a spy agency and want to be a spy. You'll see all the jobs here and you can decide what you want to do from there.”

—0—

You’re home, unpacking your things after a long talk with your mom. She’s sad, but she understands. You have a feeling that she might have a different opinion if she knew your mother was never in the Army and you’re joining the same organization that she died because of. (Maybe even _for_ , the way Champ tells it.) Someone clearing their throat from the doorway pulls you from your thoughts.

“Eggsy!” When you realize it’s him, you jump up and plow into him with a hug. He’s never been soft, but boy is he solid now.

Eggsy lets out a fond laugh at your greeting as he squeezes you back. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too.”

“Yeah, sorry it took me so long to get over here. I was out when I got your text saying you’re home.”

“It’s fine. It gave me a chance to update my mom.”

“So, America! How was it?”

“I was texting you the whole time, but it was good.”

He frowns. “How good?”

“I’m going back in two weeks good?”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” You resist the urge to apologize.

“I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks, Eggsy. What about you? You’re bigger than you were when I left.” You squeeze his arm.

“I’ve been workin’ out, gettin’ ready ta go. I leave in a month.”

“I’m so worried about you.”

“I’ll be fine. Besides, it’s just boot camp at first. If anythin’, that’ll keep me safe from Dean when I come back.”

“That only helps a little.”

“Hey, I get that you’re concerned but I’m not givin’ you grief about goin’ to America.”

“Well, I’m not going to be cannon fodder for the government.”

“What else am I supposed ta do?”

“I don’t know, Eggsy. I’m sorry. I— I love you a lot, Eggsy. I know you know that’s where this is coming from, but I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you.”

He pulls you in for another hug. “I do know that. I love you too, you know.”

You stay like that for a long moment, feeling his arms around you and him in your arms. Standing in your bedroom with him like this, knowing that everything is changing for both of you. You’ve been ready to go for a while now, desperate to get out on your own, to start living your life, even if you weren’t sure what it would look like until recently. Somehow, when you pictured it, Eggsy was always right next to you. it’s becoming apparent that he won’t be. It makes sense. He needs his own path more desperately than you do. Now that your paths are at a fork in the road, though, you’re starting to wish you could stay in this exact spot forever.

“Hey, you okay?” He steps back to look at you, but keeps his hands on your shoulders.

“I was thinking about how I’m getting everything I’ve wanted for the last few years but I never thought it would come at the expense of losing you.”

He lets out a breath. “Come on, you’re not _losing_ me. Friends have to go down their separate paths sometimes but that don’t mean they stop bein’ friends.”

“I know. I’m not trying to be dramatic, I swear. We won’t ever be quite the same after this, though, will we? As people and by extension, our friendship.”

“Yeah, guess you’re right. Wanna go watch a movie and pretend it’s not happenin’ for a couple hours?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”


	3. Chapter 3

Eggsy comes to you a week before you leave with a new black eye.

"Oh, Eggsy." You sigh and walk over, resting your hand on his cheek. "Can I get you anything?"

He shakes his head. He knows where the ice packs are. "I thought things were different now."

"What made you think he changed?" You move to sit on your bed, knowing he'll follow.

Eggsy snorts. "Come on, I'm not that stupid. I know he'll never change. I just thought— maybe he started respectin' me. Saw me as a man, an equal. I've been trainin' 'ard. He knows I'm going to be a marine. He backed off for a while."

"What happened tonight?"

He shrugs. "He was goin' for my mum." He murmurs. "That's nothin' new and honestly, I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore. I've tried talking to 'er but he's got 'er so fucking scared and reliant that she can't even leave 'im. And it's not like I got any money to get us out. But now she's pregnant."

" _What_?" You ask, in shock.

"Yeah. She told me a couple days ago. Says she wants to keep it. Dean knows too and he still fuckin' went after her."

You lean in and hug him because you don't know what to say. "I'm sorry. I wish I could help."

He lets out a wet breath into your neck and squeezes you tighter. "I don't know what to fuckin' do." His voice is choked as he speaks. "I don't care if it's his kid, I'm not lettin' anyone else go through what I did. She's off the drugs now, but the minute she pops that baby out, she'll be right back on 'em. He'll make sure of it. I need to go so I can do somethin' to 'elp em but I can't fuckin' trust Dean not to hurt em either."

"I'm sure my mom would be willing to check in on your mom if it would make you feel better."

He sits back. "I don't want to put your mum in danger."

"Eggs, most of the time someone like that isn't going to do anything to a stranger or a neighbor. And frankly, if he did, he _needs_ to be reported to the authorities even more than he does already. Let us help you."

"You've both already done so much and it ain't your job."

"Fuck that. You've been my closest friend for years now. My mom loves you too. You know we'd do anything for you and that's not changing any time soon. It's no less our job to help you than it is your job to help your mom."

He sighs. "That's not true, but it's very sweet. It's a good idea, I'll talk to 'er in the morning."

"Good. You want to sleep in here tonight?"

After so many years of this, he figured he'd be sleeping next to you tonight, but he always waits for you to offer anyway. "Yeah, thanks."

You're so used to it, your only response is to wait for him to lie down before you follow. It's a bit of a challenge, two adults getting comfortable in a twin bed but you make it work. It's a good excuse to hold him through the night.

As you lie there facing him, he thinks of all the nights he's spent like this, with you. The couple of— what he _thinks_ were— almost-kisses. Those late nights you got up just to comfort him and you'd fall asleep first. He'd watch your serene face as you slept and let your sense of calm wash over him. Tonight though, your eyes are wide awake and searching his.

—0—

Sometimes, when you're like this, Eggsy gets this _look_. It's something like longing. There have been a couple of almost-kisses over the years, but you always stopped before you found out what exactly it was going to be. You knew back then that your first priority was keeping this a safe place for Eggsy. You weren't about to let a kiss and the potential fallout of it ruin that for him. But now he's giving you that look again and you're about to go your separate ways for the foreseeable future.

"Eggsy, I love you."

—0—

You've said those words to each other so many times over the years. But tonight they sound different falling from your lips. They _feel_ different hanging in the air between you.

He raises his brows and lets out a soft breath. "You tryin' to tell me somethin' you haven't before?" He can't quite root out the teasing from his tone— one last defense, just in case— but his voice is otherwise soft.

"Yeah." You murmur, inching closer, letting your breath fan across his lips, your noses touching. He takes a breath and licks his lips. You're close enough that his tongue brushes your bottom lip for the briefest of seconds before he presses his lips to yours.

"I love you too." He breathes before his lips are on yours again.

It feels so different with him than it did with anyone else you've been with. Sure, that was fun, but this feels like so much _more_. "Fuck." You mutter as you pull away.

Eggsy grins. "That good?"

You let out a breath. "No." When the grin falls from his face, you rush to fix it. "No, it was great. I mean it, it was, but that's not what I was going to say."

"Somethin' wrong?"

You take a minute to look at him before you continue. "I— Eggs, what are we doing?"

"Sounds like we're acting on somethin' we should've years ago. I don't know how long you've loved me like this but it's been years for me."

"I—" You nod. "Me too."

"Then what's the problem?"

"You're still joining the marines, right?"

He rolls his eyes. "Not this again."

"I'm not talking about being worried you're going to die out there. You already know that I am. I'm talking about you leaving to go do that and me leaving for an internship and eventually a job in America."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh."

He takes your hand. "All the more reason to enjoy it while we're together."

You squeeze his hand. "Yes, for sure, but we should talk about it. I mean, what are we going to do?"

"Long-distance relationships are a thing." He shrugs. "We could make it work."

"Yeah, but Eggsy, this isn't 'let's finish studying abroad and we'll be together for real when I come back'. Of course, I'll visit as much as I can, but I don't know how often that'll be. I'm starting a _new life_ in America. I love it here, but this is a once in a lifetime opportunity I'm taking over there." You wish more desperately than anything that you could tell him what exactly that opportunity entailed.

"I understand that you don't plan on coming back. But I'm willin' to try to make this work if you are."

"Would we be monogamous?"

"I'd like to be."

"You really think that could work? You won't need more than your hand and phone between visits?"

"No. Will you?"

"Well, yeah. I'll definitely need at least a dildo."

He lets out a breath of relief. "You're such an asshole."

"You love me for it." You laugh.

He looks at you reverently for a minute. "Yeah, I do." He leans in for a kiss. "So, we have a week before you leave. How do you feel about gettin' started with the shagging now?"

"Absolutely." Your kisses so far have been chaste and sweet, about conveying love and testing out this new aspect to your relationship. The one you pull him in for this time is all passion and lust, rough and absolutely filthy.

—0—

You and Eggsy spend every moment you can together after that. After the third night of Eggsy sleeping in your room, your mom corners him at the breakfast table.

"Everything alright at home, Eggsy?"

He shrugs. "When is it ever?"

"Okay, that's my fault for asking the wrong question, I guess. Are things particularly bad right now?"

"Nothin' new, really. Couple nights ago Dean went after my mum again. I got in his way." He gestures to his black eye.

"I'm sorry. I know you're leaving soon, I'll check in on her for you."

He lets out a breath of relief. "Thank you so much. I wanted to ask you anyway, but I wasn't sure how, after everything you've already done for me."

"I know."

"y/n talk to you?"

"Not about this. You've been like my second child since you were 15, Eggsy. Nobody had to say anything."

Eggsy doesn't know what to say. He doesn't have to figure it out either because your mom is already steamrolling on.

"Now, don't take this the wrong way, as I said, you might as well be my son, but this is the fourth morning you've been here."

"Oh, I can—" He points to the door but your mom cuts him off.

"No, I'm only making conversation. What have you two been up to?"

"Mom. We're about to be apart for who knows how long. We don't want that to start any sooner than it has to."

"Is that why you've started holding hands too?"

You and Eggsy glance at each other. You didn't talk about telling anyone and instinct told you to be discreet around your mom so you were. Or you thought you were.

"Please, I'm not an idiot. I'm also not a strict parent, I don't think. You're both adults, what you do is your business."

"Mom." You sigh. Meanwhile, Eggsy is over there laughing at you.

"I would just like to be in the loop about news this big."

Eggsy is the one who comes out with it. "Yeah, we finally confessed our feelings for each other. Shit timing, we have. But yeah. We're going to try to make a long-distance relationship work."

"I've been wondering when that was going to happen. You're right about the timing, but if you guys love each other like that, you'll make it work."

Eggsy looks over at you eating breakfast through a slight scowl at the news not coming out the way you wanted. His heart breaks. This right here is all he wants. To be with you and watch you get grumpy over silly things. To wake up to you next to him or to get up and get ready next to you. To come home to you at night. He pastes a smile on his face before you can notice, though. "Course we will." When you look over at him he winks. "After all these years pinin', now that we got together, I ain't lettin' somethin' silly as distance get in the way."

"Speaking of, now that the cat's out of the bag, you need to be sitting with me." You tell Eggsy.

"You're right, love." He stands and waits till you put your spoon down to gently bat your hands out of the way before he takes a seat in your lap.

You can tell he's not putting all his weight on you and you can't help but think about how he's still being sweet even when he's being an asshole. You roll your eyes but other than that, you put your hand on his back and go for your spoon again. "You comfortable?" You ask through a mouth full of cereal.

"Not really, but anythin' for you, love." He shrugs.

"Well, when I said you should be sitting with me, I meant that you should pull your chair closer but I think you know that."

He kisses your cheek and moves back to his chair, pulling it closer to you. "I did, but it's sweet you didn't ask me to move."

—0—

Eggsy went back to his house to change his clothes so you take the time alone to make sure you have everything packed. You've felt bad doing anything involving the move in front of Eggsy and he's been with you the better part of two weeks so you haven't had much time. As you go about your tasks, you find yourself wanting to ramble or listen to him ramble. You have no idea how you're going to handle being in America alone. Before you can think about it too much, there's a light knock on your door before Eggsy slides in.

"Hey babes." He wraps his arms around your waist and rests his head on your shoulder. "Packing?"

"Yeah, I leave in a couple days and I've been putting it off."

He nods and kisses your cheek. "Right, well, before you keep goin', I got somethin' for ya."

"Eggsy you didn't have to."

"I know." He reaches into his pocket and when he wraps his arm around you again, there's a ring in his hand. "I wanted to give you something to remember me by."

"It's beautiful, but you know I won't need that to remember you."

"I know, but when we're apart, it'll be something to remind you of me while you're going about your day in a foreign place." He shrugs. "A little piece of home."

You turn around in his arms and kiss him. "That's so sweet." You put your hand out so he can put it on you.

As he slides the ring on, he raises his brows. "It fits."

You look over at him. "This looks nice, did you not figure out my ring size first?"

"How would I have done that?"

"I don't know. Asked my mom, compared the rings I have to a ring sizer, asked an innocuous question I forgot about."

"Alright, I'm gonna be honest. I stole it."

"Eggsy!"

"What? You know me. You ain't never acted high and mighty about it before. I clocked it almost right when I walked in the coffee shop this morning. Then the lady wearin' it started yellin' at the barista when she was pickin' up her drink an' I stepped in." He shrugs. "Snagged it in the process. Trust me, from the looks of her, she ain't gonna miss it."

You give him one last disapproving look before you crack a smile and hug him. "Thanks, I love it." You spend a minute in his arms becoming more and more melancholy as the seconds tick by. "Love _you_."

He squeezes you before he leans back to press a kiss to your lips. "Love you too." He doesn't say that he'll miss you. He's still trying not to think about that. Instead, he takes a breath and asks "Alright, how can I help?"


	4. Chapter 4

When you get to your new apartment in America, you have a couple of days to unpack before your first day at Statesman. Yes, it needs to be done and you know you'll be tired and busy from here on out, but you can't help but think that this is time you could've spent back home with your mom and Eggsy. You tried to sleep in— thought it would help the time pass— but you woke up at the ass crack of dawn, still on London time. So, you try to start unpacking, but all alone in this large, posh apartment, you can't stop thinking about home. You only make it to early-afternoon before you call Eggsy. He answers right away.

"Hey, I missed your voice." He greets.

"Since yesterday when you dropped me off at the airport?" You force a laugh. You missed his too.

"Yeah." He says, like it needs no further explanation. It doesn't. There's a beat of silence. "Hits different when you're so far away, too."

"It does." You find that you don't have much to say considering you've been texting non-stop since you parted. He already knows about the screaming baby behind you, and the man who couldn't have been near a shower within the past week.

"Did you just call to hear my lovely voice?" He asks when it becomes clear you're not going to continue.

You feel a lump forming in your throat and you regret calling him. You didn't realize you were already missing home _this_ bad. You try to steady your voice. "Yeah." It's high-pitched and shaky. You hope the phone covers it up.

"Aww, babes, you cryin?"

You take a couple of seconds to get your breathing under control— or you try to. "I— I'm sorry. I knew I was missing you— it's why I called— but I didn't know it was this bad already. I didn't— I don't want to worry you. I wouldn't have called if I thought I was going to start crying like a baby." You let out a laugh because what else can you do?

"Hey, no. I'm glad you called. I wish I could wrap my arms around you—" he hears a fresh set of sobs start at that. "But since I can't, I'd rather talk you through it than think about you tryin' to protect me from hearin' it or somethin' silly like that. I'm your best friend. It's what I'm here for."

"Boyfriend." You correct, wiping your eyes.

"Damn, didn't know I got demoted when we started dating."

You can't help but smile, hearing him put it like that. "Most people would think of it as a promotion."

"Nah, I loved the times we had together as friends too much to act like it meant anythin' less than our relationship now."

"Are you this cheesy with all the girls?"

"Maybe a bit. This time it's true, though."

"Eggsy, were you lying to those poor girls you dated before?"

"Well, I had to if I was goin' to try to move on from you. I never thought I'd have a shot with you."

"Well, we were both blind idiots, then."

"I still can't believe it. Even if I'm stuck on this side of the pond."

"I know."

"So, how is it there? Turn it on video so I can see."

"Eggs, it's a mess— _I'm_ a mess."

"Oh, come on. I've seen you almost every day since we were fifteen at all hours of the day and night. You tellin' me now that you're in America I only get to see you with a full face of makeup?"

You sigh. "Okay, fine." You turn the camera on and point it around the apartment. "So, this will be the sitting room. Right now, as you can see, it's box city. This is the kitchen." You turn the camera to your left as you get up to make your way down the hall.

"Hey, back up." He laughs. "You're goin' too fast, I can't see anythin'. I can't be there so you gotta give me an immersive experience."

"Okay." You walk to the door and turn around so he can see what it's like when you first walk in. "So, there's the main room. Here's this giant wavy mural wall. Don't know what it's about but it's cool, I guess. I've got a fireplace and some chairs set up, then you come over here and there's more room."

"Wow, lots of windows."

"I know. I think this area is supposed to be for a dining room because here's the kitchen." You turn around.

"I like the bar. Is it already stashed?"

"They're paying for my apartment, I doubt they—" You check anyway and to your surprise, there's a modest liquor cabinet already started.

"It is, isn't it?" He laughs.

You respond by turning the camera so he can see in the cabinet.

"Damn babes, you gotta work your way up so you can get me a job out there."

"Can you imagine how much fun that would be?" You think about how much fun it _would_ be if he was set up with the same program as you. Going to school together, then being part of a spy organization. _Together_. Of course, knowing him, he'd become an actual spy and go on to worry you for the rest of your life. While you'd find a way to be happy as long as he came home to you, you're glad this is only a far fetched daydream.

"Love?" Eggsy's voice pulls you out of your thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"You got quiet for a minute and the camera's facing the wrong way, so I can't tell, but I'll bet you've got a furrow in your brow and a frown on your face."

You turn the camera around and sigh. "Yeah, I was thinking about how great it would be if you could come live here." You pause. "You could, you know. I know you're joining the marines and after that, you have to take care of your family but if you ever change your mind, I—" You sigh. "I know it's not going to happen, but if— I wouldn't want you to think it wasn't an option, so I'm putting it out there."

He nods. "Thanks, babes. I'll remember that." He barely finishes his sentence before he furrows his brows and looks at his door. Even you can hear the yelling coming from the other side. "Sorry, that's Dean, I gotta go check it out."

You nod. "Text me when you can. Send me a picture so I know you're safe."

"Yeah." He nods. "Love you, hang in there, it'll get easier."

You let out a breath. He's still thinking of you being homesick, telling _you_ it'll get easier when he's about to go break up a fight between his abusive stepdad and pregnant mom. "Love you too, Eggsy, try to be safe."

"Always." He winks at you before he hangs up.

It doesn't leave you feeling good. Yes, you loved hearing from him, but you still miss him and seeing first hand that his situation isn't any better doesn't fill you with confidence. Still, you have things to do and sitting here worrying about Eggsy and feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to help anything. So you put on some music and start unpacking.

—0—

"So, it's your first day. You nervous?" Champ asks.

"Yes, but I'm excited too. These last couple of days have dragged by with nothing to do. I used them to unpack, but I'm ready to start."

He nods. "That's good. We have plenty for you to do. A lot of it will be menial work at first, but you'll work up to bigger things. I saw that you wanted to go for nursing or engineering. Those are quite separate fields."

"Nursing programs tend to be quick. I thought if I got through that, I could be doing something useful around here while I work toward my engineering degree. Besides, my best friend back home lives with an abusive stepdad and I've been caring for his wounds for the last three years. Thought I'd have a leg up in that field." You shrug. "If I don't, I'll learn like everyone else. I have practical experience if nothing else, so I know I can do it. But yeah, my goal is to be in the tech department, coming up with and making new technology."

"Sounds good, I'm glad you were able to come to a decision so fast. I'm going to put you with Ginger. She does a little bit of everything, so she's always up to her eyeballs in work. You'll be her assistant. She'll keep you busy and it'll be good insight for you about this organization."

"Sounds good."

—0—

Weeks pass, Eggsy leaves home and starts training in the Marines. It's the first time you're able to talk since he started.

When your face pops up on the video call, Eggsy beams. "Hey, long time no see."

"I know. Tiding myself over with text messages has been difficult. I need my fix."

"Yeah, it's been crazy. We only have so much allotted free time, nevermind privacy to call loved ones. I've been settling in, and like I texted you, my mum is going mental. I had to call her the first chance I got."

"Yeah, I understand. How did that call go?"

He sighs. "Not well, like all the others. She says Dean's busy with his 'business' so he hasn't been bothering her as long as she's staying out of his way. That latter part don't make me feel good, but there's nothing I can do from here. Your mum's been texting me when she checks in. At least I know she'll be honest about the state of things and not make excuses for that prick."

"Fuck, I'm sorry, Eggsy."

He shrugs. "It is what it is. I know you don't like that I'm here either, but thanks for not arguing with me about it every time we talk."

"Yeah, I'm not going to beat the subject to death. I don't want you to avoid talking to me or feel like you can't confide in me anymore. Are you at least enjoying it? As much as anyone can enjoy boot camp."

"It's not too bad. Keeps me busy. I'm not in the thick of it yet, though. Worried as I am about my mum, it's better than bein' home. Worse than runnin' across the way to spend the night with you, though."

"I still miss you."

"Still miss you too." He pauses. "Was I right, though? Is it any better, at least?"

"Well, I'm busy with work and school now, so that helps. But I still have to go to bed alone. The ring you gave me before I left still reminds me of you throughout the day."

"It's doin' its job then." He winks. "So, speaking of jobs, tell me what you're doin' there."

"Well, there's this woman named Ginger. I have no idea how she does it, but she might as well run the company. The important parts anyway."

"Is she a business partner of your not uncle?"

"No. But she knows more about what's going on then he does. He seems to know that and respect it too, so that's good. Anyway, I'm her assistant while I study. But she told me that she's approaching it more as a mentor/mentee relationship rather than someone who's in charge of me. It's still new, and sometimes I feel like I'm drowning, but I know I can get past it."

"That's my girl. I'm so proud of you. For a while, I was too busy bein' sad I wouldn't see you anymore to think about it, but moving out there, startin' over like that was a brave thing."

"That's sweet, Eggsy. Have you gotten a chance to catch up with Ryan, Brandon, and Jamal?"

"We've been texting but we haven't talked. I don't think that any of us could carry out a conversation like I do with you or my mum. It's different with them, much as I love em."

You shrug. "Well, at least you're texting. I get that phone conversations can be weird. I haven't called any of my other friends either."

"Yeah, it's hard to keep up." He looks at you for a minute. "You in bed? What time is it there?" He looks at his watch. "4:00?"

"I came in here when you called." You shrug. "And so what? Are you nap shaming me, Unwin?"

He laughs. "I would never. Just seemed like an odd time to be in bed. Anyway, I never saw your room. I had to go before you could give me the full tour. Need to know what to picture when I find somewhere around here private enough to have phone sex." He winks.

"You're ridiculous." You tell him, even as you turn the camera around so you can pan around the room.

"Oh, you've set it up nice. You need to send me pictures of the rest of the house later since you're unpacked now."

"I will. Where are you now?"

He looks around. "I'm outside, a ways off from the bunks."

"Are the other boys treating you okay?" You ask with a light tone of teasing, but you do want to know how he's getting along in there.

"Yeah, babes, I'm good."

"Is there anyone you think you could be mates with?"

He shrugs. "Maybe one or two guys. There's always a couple good ones, wherever you go. I think a lot of em don't want to get too close. They know what we're here for, some of us are gonna die."

"Jesus, Eggs." You let out a breath and tell yourself you're not going to have this fight with him again.

"That was too much, sorry."

"No—" you have to stop to gather yourself. "It kills me that you can include yourself in that with so much nonchalance."

"I knew what I was signin' up for. You and my mum made sure of it. Doesn't mean I'm lookin' forward to dyin'. I'm not suicidal."

"That's good. I love you so much, Eggsy."

"Love you too."

—0—

A few months pass. You're doing great at Statesman and Eggsy's doing exceptional in the marines. You don't get to talk to him much because you're both busy and you both have moms who want to talk to you too. Whenever you do talk to him, he finally seems happy. Or at least content. Which— sure, you've had plenty of moments of happiness together, but as a whole, in life, you don't think you've ever seen Eggsy this content. So, it comes as a shock when you get a text from him that says he quit and he'd call you when he could.

You've gotten close to Ginger since you started at Statesman. She doesn't have very many friends on account of being a workaholic and you're new in town. Not to mention that there aren't many women you work closely with, so you've got to stick together and all that. So you've been going out together after work for a while now. Put that together with the fact that she works with you every day, and her job is to coach spies through their missions— has been trying to be one herself for a while now— you shouldn't be surprised she notices something's wrong off the bat when you come in.

"Hey, long night?" She asks, not looking away from her computer.

"No. I got a text from my boyfriend this morning, says he's quitting the marines."

"Well, that's good, right?"

You sigh and sit down next to her. "I'm relieved, but I can't sound too excited when he calls me. Whenever I've talked to him since he started, he seemed content for the first time in his life. Now he's— _presumably_ — going back to his abusive stepdad and his mom who hasn't been able to do anything about it since it started happening. I don't know what to say and I won't even have the full story until I'm on the phone with him. I have no idea how _he's_ feeling about all this. I'm glad he texted me so I can sort through it before I talk to him."

"That's a lot." She moves to talk to the agent she's working with right now. "Go left, Tequila."

You look at the dot on the map indicating Tequila and the many other dots pinpointing his enemies. It's a mission the three of you have been preparing for a while. "If he goes right, won't he pass the storage room again? He can get another vile or two if he's up to fighting a few more people."

"Good catch. "Tequila, you up to fighting a few more guys to get more product?"

"Always, ma'am."

"Good, take a right, then. You should pass the storage room again." She turns to you. "And about Eggsy, all you can do is let him know you're here for him. I wish there was more I could say or do to help."

You sigh. "Yeah, thanks anyway."


	5. Chapter 5

Eggsy doesn’t call you until he’s already home.

“Hey, what happened?” You prod.

“My mum finally got to me. She finally pulled the two cards that I never thought she’d bring into this.”

“Your dad and the baby?”

He lets out a long breath. “Yeah. She apologized for all the shit Dean put me through and said that she didn’t want it to be that way for the baby. I ain’t a monster, that’s my sister she’s talkin’ about, of course I don’t want that either. Fuck, it’s why I left in the first place. She said she couldn’t do it alone. That she wouldn’t be able to protect the baby when Dean was at his worst.”

“Eggsy, I could see how well you were doing in the marines. Not only your scores, but you seemed content out there. Coming back was a very selfless thing to do.”

He lets out a sharp breath. “I _was_ content there. I might not have had control of my schedule, but I had control of my life. I was finally good at something. Harsh as the environment is, you’re there to learn and the people there want you to succeed, even if they won’t say it. I’m back here ten minutes and Dean is already up my ass again.”

“I’m sorry, Eggsy. You know, I’ve got lots of space here. It—”

“Babes, you know I can’t come there. I quit the one thing that made me feel like I was in control of my life to come back here.”

“Bring them with you.”

“What?”

“Bring your mom and the baby with you.”

He pauses for a long minute. “Can she even fly while she’s pregnant?”

“Umm, let’s look it up.”

“Wait, wait, no. I can’t put that on you. You’ve—”

“If I hear one word about how my mom and I took care of you, I’m hanging up this phone and buying two plane tickets.”

He sighs. “Babes, that’s real sweet of you to offer, but I don’t even think she’d go.”

“And if she agreed?”

“I’m not going to ask. I need to figure this out here. We’d have to get green cards and passports and it would be a whole thing I can’t handle right now. Not to mention, we’d have to leave most of our things here. Both because we couldn’t transport them, and because if we started packing, Dean would notice and then our situation here would be so much worse. Thank you, but it’s not an option.”

“Well, if you change your mind, or if you think of something I can do, let me know. Even if you think you could leave for a few days to come visit, I’ll get you here.”

He knows he won’t take you up on that. Even if you’re in a position to help him out financially, he won’t accept it. He’s pretty sure you know that too, so all he says is “thanks.”

—0—

Now that you’re only working around your schedule and Eggsy’s back with his mom, you get to talk more often. Which would be good— it _is_ good, but it would be better if Eggsy wasn’t so depressed. You’re glad he’s talking to you about it. Sometimes, he calls and tells you he needs a distraction, so you tell him everything you can about your new life here. You’d do anything to make him feel better, but you're thousands of miles away. Every time you video chat, he tries to act okay for your sake. And every time, you wish you could take him into your arms, and give him a place with you to feel what he's feeling without having to face anyone; without having to feel like his pain is bringing you down.

After one such call with Eggsy, you sigh and check your schedule. You notice that you have a couple of days off in a row. If you finish your homework for the week on the first day, you can have a full day to relax after that. In fact, if you did your homework now, you could have _two_ days to do whatever you want. _What would you even_ do _for two days_? But right now, you're too busy worrying about Eggsy to dwell on it. If only you had one more day, you could go back home. You lay on the bed, _not_ doing homework, thinking about how amazing it would be to _be_ _there_ for him. It wouldn't be enough time, but it would be better than nothing. You double-check your schedule because you want to torture yourself and stare at those two days bookending your days off. In a moment of desperation or hope, you pull up Ginger's number and start texting.

>>If I wanted another consecutive day off this week, what sort of soul-selling would I have to do and to whom?

—0—

Your mom picks you up from the airport.

“I can’t believe you’re home. If you gave me more time, I would’ve taken the time off work.” She tells you after your extended reunion at the baggage claim. “I know. It was last minute for me too. Eggsy’s been so depressed since he got back from his training. I thought I’d surprise him.”

“I know. He came over and slept in your old bed a few nights. Nothing like when you were here, though.”

“Really?”

“He hasn’t told you?”

“No, that’s so sad. He must not want to worry me, but—” You sigh. “I know that’s why he didn’t tell me, but I wish he would. You know he’s not telling his mates that. It makes me wonder what else he’s keeping bottled up.”

Your mom sighs. “I know how hard that is. Like I told you before you left, your mom was secretive, but she had to be. It’s a hard thing to live with, but I can’t say I always communicated the way I should have with her either. Sometimes it’s not a matter of should. Just because you’re dating someone, doesn't mean you don't need to sort through some things yourself. I know you were best friends and you don't want your relationship to change in that way but sometimes it does. Some emotions you don’t want to share and that’s okay. You two should have a talk, find out if either of you needs that little bit of distance at times, and go from there. You're both smart. I trust that you can handle it in a mature way.”

“Yeah, it's just hard thinking about him hurting all alone. It had to be really bad for him to go back to your house. Sleeping in the bed where I always nursed and talked him through things when they got bad, but this time, he was alone.”

“I know. I felt bad but I didn’t know how else to help.”

“I can’t wait to see him.”

—0—

Eggsy’s in his room, cooling off after his latest row with Dean when he hears noises outside. It reminds him of before when things were good. Or, his version of good. When you’d scale the fucking building to see him when Dean would lock him in his room. But you’re not here anymore so he doesn’t have the luxury of opening the window and pulling you in when he hears those noises. He goes to the window, ready to— at the very least— exchange some strong words with whoever’s out there. Eggsy half expects it to be his imagination; to look out the window and see no one. So when he opens the curtains to see a person clutching his windowsill, he startles. Then, he startles again because the person outside his window is, in fact, you.

Eggsy, in his shock, doesn’t think about what his face is doing or how long he's been scowling at this not-stranger before him. When he finally snaps out of his stupor, he scrambles to open the window and pull you in. Once you’re in, he closes the window and presses you against it, leaning in to capture your lips in a kiss. He pulls back to look at you; brings his hand up to your cheek as his eyes dart back and forth like he’s making sure you’re real. He lets out a breath in disbelief, stroking your face with his thumb before he dives in for another kiss.

“I can’t believe you’re here.” He breathes, resting his forehead on yours.

“Well, I’m glad you’re happy to see me.” You laugh.

He leans back, furrowing his brows, but his hands don’t leave your waist. “What’re you on about?” He almost sounds hurt and you feel bad for the playful jab. “Of course I’m happy to see ya.”

“I knew you would be but when you opened the window, you looked mad for a minute.”

He lets out a breath. “I thought a stranger was fuckin scaling my wall.” He laughs. “My brain didn't know how to process seein’ you. _Fuck_ , I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too, Eggs.”

“Alright, come on, then.” He sits against the headboard of his bed and waits for you to join him. “So, to what do I owe the pleasure of you bein’ here? How long are you stayin’?”

You take your shoes off and situate yourself next to him. He lifts his arm and waits for you to get comfortable against his side before he lets it rest over your shoulders. “I’m only here for three days. I had a couple days off in a row and Ginger is in charge of my schedule so I asked if we could swing an extra day. I came straight after work and my mom picked me up from the airport like an hour ago. I wanted to surprise you.”

“Well, you did that. How’s your mum doing? She hasn’t seen you either.”

“She’s happy for us. I figured we’d spend most of the time either out or over there anyway. And she’s going straight to bed tonight anyway.”

He nods. “Sounds good. You must be knackered yourself.”

“I am a bit, yeah.”

“You good sleepin’ here?”

“Yeah. I figured that’s what we’d do.” You shrug. “I honestly thought I’d be waking you up.”

“No. I had a row with Dean earlier and it took me a while to get over it. Wasn’t, really, till you got here. It’s amazing how fast it stopped mattering when I had you in front of me.”

“I’m glad I have that effect.”

“You always have.”

You know it’s not that simple, but you know he’s not just saying it to be romantic either. He’s always come to you for comfort. Even though you couldn’t make the problem go away, you always helped distract him from it.

“You up for a little fun before we go down for the night?” He ventures, breaking the silence.

“A little.” You shrug.

“So, I’m thinkin’ we’ll take our shirts off and snog for a bit? Nothin’ we’re gonna have to clean up after. I know you’re tired.”

“Sounds perfect.” You unbutton the few buttons on his polo and slide your hands under his shirt, along his abs and chest before pulling his shirt up and off.

He winks and returns the favor, throwing your shirt on the ground next to his. When he sees your new, lacy bra he raises a brow. “You have plans for tonight?” He can’t keep the grin off his face.

“We haven’t seen each other in months, I wanted to be prepared.” You shrug.

“That mean there’s matching panties?” He says it like he’s teasing you, but there’s a spark in his eyes that tells you exactly how much he’d love for there to be matching panties.

You unbutton your jeans and pull them down enough to give him a peek.

He lets out a groan and pulls you closer. “So what did you expect me to do when I saw you? Press you against the window and ask questions later?”

“Well, that is what you did, a little bit.”

His grin is slow, forming with his words as he stares into your eyes. “Don’t be coy. I think you know exactly what I mean.”

“I do. And as much as I love that idea, I’m tired and you promised me I wouldn’t have to shower again tonight.”

“I also didn’t know that this fuckin’ gorgeous set was waitin’ beneath your clothes when I said that.” He sighs. “The things we do for love.”

“You’re so dramatic. Now, are you going to kiss me or not?”

His answer comes from his lips and tongue but not in the form of words. Eggsy missed you. He missed having you here as his best friend, but especially having you here, like this. With your lips on his, finally allowed to roam his hands along your skin and feel yours on his in return, he wants to let you know how much he missed you. Even if it’s only a breathless remark between kisses. But he can’t bring himself to pull away long enough to get the words out; so he resolves to show you through this intimacy he so rarely gets to have with you.

—0—

The trip ends as fast as it began and you’re already back at the airport with your mom and Eggsy.

You hug your mom first, saying your I love yous and goodbyes. She gives you one last squeeze before she says something about getting a snack and telling Eggsy to text her when he’s ready to go.

When you turn to Eggsy, he’s got his hands in his pockets and he’s looking at you like he doesn’t know what to say.

“I’m going to miss you, Eggs.”

“I’ll miss you more.”

“You know, you’re welcome any time.”

He nods. “Yeah. I know. Thanks for comin’ out. I know you missed your mum too, but I know you did this largely for me. I’m so happy I got to see you— in the flesh.” He reaches out and takes your hands. “Can’t believe I got to hold you in my arms again.” He forces a smile. “I felt like fuckin’ Cinderella the whole time, just wain' for the dream to end.” It's as close to laughing through tears as he can get without actually crying.

You let go of his hands to lean in and hug him. Because you still _can_. There have been so many times since you left that you saw that rueful smile or anger, or sadness on his face and all you wanted to do was scoop him into your arms but all you had was your phone. You hate that it's because of you this time. “I love you so much. My internship is going great and I love it, but when I’m home— Eggsy, sometimes I regret taking this job so much. I love it, but I love you more and now I’m stuck over there.”

“Hey,” he pulls back to look you in the eyes. “I’m glad you get to do something you love. As much as I wish we could be together, I think about you over there and I’m so _proud_. I’m so happy that you’re not rotting away here, making excuses for not doing anything with your life like the rest of us.”

“Eggsy, that’s not what you’re doing and you know it. Fuck, you were ready to risk your life to make something out of yourself and protect your family. I’d argue that with how bad Dean and his goons have gotten over the years that you’re still doing that.”

“Come off it, Dean’ll knock me around, but he ain’t going to kill me.”

“Make sure that’s true, okay?” You cup his face with your hand and he leans into it, closing his eyes and nodding. “Anyway, Dean knocking you around isn’t okay either I hate that you’re his punching bag.”

“Well, it’s better me than my pregnant mum, innit?”

“No. None of it’s okay, dammit. _Fuck_ , how am I supposed to leave you here like this?”

He looks around, noticing you’re gaining a small audience. “Yeah, it’s shit.” He keeps his voice quiet as he crooks a finger under your chin so you’ll look at him. “But it ain’t nothin’ new and I don’t want to part ways like this. Nothin’s changed since we were 15 and nothin’s changin’ now. I made it this far, yeah?”

You sigh. “I’m sorry. I know.”

“And if it makes you feel any better, remember, I’m an adult. I ain’t helpless, I ain’t scared and brainwashed like my mum. Me bein’ where I am is my choice at this point.”

“That’s not much of a choice.”

“But it is one and it is what it is. Dean ain’t here and I don’t want to think about him when I still have you for a little while longer.”

“Okay, come here.” You lean in to kiss him.

Eggsy doesn’t care about the small audience who was watching you earlier. They have to have moved on after your small string of expletives and this is his last real kiss for a while. It has to tide both of you over for the foreseeable future, so he makes sure you remember it.

“Eggsy—” you pull back and look around. You’ve caught a couple eyes, but they move on fairly quickly.

“What? Let ‘em look. We’re not ever going to see them again. I have my love in my arms and I don’t know when I’ll be able to say that again.”

“That’s a good point.” You check your watch and glance at the line for security. “I should go, though.”

“One more kiss?”

“One more kiss.”


	6. Chapter 6

It's been two years since you left and Eggsy's still stuck in the same place with his mum. He's proud that you're doing so well, getting more responsibly at work and your pay is going up along with it. Every time he's on the phone with you, listening to you talk about your day and new things that you're working on, he has two thoughts. One, that he's so happy you're flourishing out there, and two, that he hasn't moved an inch. He protected his mum through her pregnancy, then, exactly as he predicted, she was right back on the drugs. Dean still treats everyone like shit except for his new little sister— thank god. She's neglected most of the time, for sure, but Eggsy doesn't know what he would do if Dean tried to hurt that precious baby. So he stays and waits. Because he knows well enough by now that it's only a matter of time.

He knows why he's still here, but it doesn't change the fact that every time you video call from your posh apartment, in your business professional clothes, he feels like he's falling behind. Like you're ascending so far above him that he'll never be able to work his way up to deserving you again.

Of course, you notice that something’s off. He knows you would never think a job made you better than him. That’s not the kind of person you are and on your way to the top, you’ve never been condescending or treated him any different. So he shrugs and tells you he’s exhausted. Which, he is. But he doesn’t think he could handle you feeling any worse for him than you already do. Even though he knows you see through it— you for sure don’t expect it— his brash confidence and cheeky personality is all he has going for him right now.

He sighs and gives one last look in the mirror as he tucks his father’s medal of valor under his shirt and leaves his room at his mom’s beckoning.

—0—

You walk into work, ready for the day, but Ginger’s face gives you pause. Yes, you work a serious job and a certain amount of seriousness is required, but you also deal with life and death situations so often, that you don’t see that grim expression often anymore.

“What happened.”

She presses her lips together before she answers you. “It’s nothing with any of the agents, everything here is business as usual.”

“Then why do you look like you’re about to tell me there’s an opening at the table?”

She sighs. “I’ve been keeping an eye on your mom and boyfriend back home. It’s been casual, far away. I didn’t involve you because I didn’t want you to feel guilty that you were spying on them, or have to keep anything else from them.”

“Okay, Ginger, we work for a spy organization, I’m not mad that you turned a kind eye to my family. But you are freaking me out, what happened?”

“I don’t know a lot right now, but Eggsy was… speeding is an understatement— he was driving backward in traffic in a bright yellow sports car." She raises a brow. "If it wasn’t so reckless, it would be impressive. The police were chasing him and he wasn’t slowing down until something made him slam on the breaks.”

“Oh my god.” You let out a breath in disbelief. “What a goddammed idiot.”

“That’s not all.”

“Fuck.”

“When the police had him cornered, two young men fled the scene before he put the car into drive and ran headfirst into the police car.”

“What?” You let out a shaky breath. You don’t even know what to do. You’re dating an idiot. Full-blown, complete, goddammed, mother fucking, idiot. What the fuck is he doing? Is this another last-ditch attempt to get away from Dean? Should you be worried about him more than you already are? Bright yellow car. You remember him telling you about Dean’s goons and their car they go flaunting themselves about in. Did he steal it on top of everything? “Ginger, I have no idea what to do with that information.”

“I know, it’s a lot to process, but I thought you would rather know. I don’t know when he’ll have a chance to talk to you or if he’ll bring it up at all.”

“Yeah, I’m glad you told me but fuck. What the fuck is wrong with him? What does he think he’s going to do? And now he’ll have jail time on his record.” You let out a breath. “It’s a good thing I’m 4,000 miles away because I could fucking kill him.”

She fixes you with an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. If there was something we could do to help, I would.”

You shake your head. “I love him and my heart breaks for him, thinking about whatever shit happened that drove him to do this; about everything that’s ahead of him. But when it comes down to it, he made a series of incredibly stupid decisions.”

Ginger nods, adjusting her glasses and looking back to her screens. “I’m sorry this came at the beginning of the day like this. I know it’ll be difficult to think about anything else.”

You sigh and pull up a chair. “It is what it is.”

She doesn’t say anything else, leaning in toward the screen, pulling up more windows, enlarging grainy street cam footage of the police station and applying Statesman filters to it, clearing the image just in time to see Eggsy looking dumbfounded as he wanders out of the station.

“Wait, what’s going on?” You ask.

Ginger shrugs. “I have no idea.” She pulls up more screens until she finds what she’s looking for. “He wasn’t charged. The paperwork was never even entered into the systems.”

“I need to call him.”

“I don’t think that’s smart.”

“Why?”

She puts her hand to her ear in the shape of a phone. “Hello, _girlfriend who I respect and admire who I haven’t had the chance or will to tell about my latest stunt_. Why are you yelling at me and how do you know about that stupid thing I did?”

You sigh and slouch in your chair. “How am I supposed to confront him about this? He’s going to know that something’s up when I’m upset next time we talk.”

She sighs. “You said yourself that you believe something drove him to do this. I assume that you have an idea of what that was. Think about that. Think about his life and how trapped and beaten down he must feel. Maybe he needed one moment of liberation. _Something_ that was in his control even if the outcome wasn’t good.”

“Ugh, why are you always right?”

She shrugs. “It’s a gift. Then I made it my job to be. Anyway, the fact that you’re coming around means you know the answer too, you’re just too close to the issue to think through it right now.”

“Yeah.” You sigh. “So, now that my personal problems have taken up so much time, what do we need to do today?”

—0—

Eggsy cannot believe his life right now. _So much_ has happened in under 48 hours. He stole a car, got arrested, a _spy_ bailed him out, and here he is with the chance of a lifetime. It’s been nonstop since he stole that car and now that he can finally take a breather, he knows he has to call you. When Merlin collected their personal belongings, he let them all know where the phone is if they need to call anybody, warning them that he would monitor the calls himself. But Eggsy knows you’ll be worried not hearing from him, so he’ll figure out a way to tell you as much truth as he can.

“Hey, does anyone need to make any calls? I’ve got one that’s going to take a while.” He asks the room of recruits. Of course, Charlie winds up to take a jab at Eggsy.

“Who do you have to call? Your mum?”

Eggsy raises a brow. “Is that really the best you could come up with, mate?”

“Whatever. Go call your mum, Eggy.”

“Right.” Eggsy gets up and heads to the phone Merlin pointed out for them.

You pick up with a trepidatious “hello?”

Eggsy lets out a breath of relief hearing your voice. “Hey, babes.”

“Eggsy?”

Your urgent tone is enough to make Eggsy feel guilty already. “Yeah, it’s me. Sorry I haven’t called or texted. Things have been really crazy since yesterday.”

“Eggsy, what’s going on? Why are you calling from this number?”

“It’s a long story, you got a minute?”

“Yes, _please_ tell me what’s going on, babe.”

“Alright, I am. I’m really sorry I worried you. You sound wrecked, is that all because of me or did something happen?”

“Nothing happened to me Eggsy. I’m not trying to make you feel guilty, but yeah, I’m worried about you.”

“Sorry, again. But I’m alright, now. I’m here, talkin’ to you, so you can take some deep breaths for me.” He sighs and looks up at the ceiling, realizing the news he’s about to break to you. You’re going to be so pissed.

“Eggsy, I love you with all my heart but get on with it.”

“Alright. I— um, last night I was at the pub with my mates. There was a minor run-in with Dean’s dogs and—”

“Wait, what are you calling a minor run-in?”

“Me an’ the boys were at a table and Dean’s guys were at another, nearby. I was venting to ‘em about how Dean treats my mum and they were helping me as best as they could. Tried to make me laugh, but then Ryan started talking about Dean’s guys and fuckin’ pointed at ‘em in the middle of the pub, so of course, they came over and got in our faces. When Dean’s son got in my face, I was so mad. I knew we couldn’t take 'em and I wouldn’t ask Ryan and Jamal to do that for me anyway. So in the heat of the moment, I pretended to make peace and I um—”

“You what, Eggsy?”

“I knicked his car keys.”

“And you’re still alive to tell me about it? You’re not calling from prison?”

Eggsy winces, knowing that this is the calm before the storm. “Yeah, that’s not the worst part. And before either of us say anythin’ else, I know how stupid it was, okay?”

You sigh on the other end. “Yeah, okay.”

“Okay.” He takes a deep breath. “So, I knicked his car.”

“Mhm.”

Eggsy winces again at the barely contained rage you managed to pack into that hum. “The parking lot was empty so I did a few doughnuts in his face.”

“ _Eggsy_.”

“Yeah, it gets better. When I drove off, we ran into the cops right away, so I put the car in reverse and drove backward through traffic while they chased me.” He can picture you burying your head further and further into your hands as he reveals each piece of the story. Then a fox ran out behind us and I had to slam on the breaks. Cops caught up to us and I told Ryan and Jamal to get outta there.”

“Please tell me there isn’t anything else. You got arrested and someone bailed you out.”

“Sorry, love. I feel like you’ll hate me more if you find out about it later.”

“Okay, well, first of all, I don’t hate you. I’m upset, and trying very hard not to be mad at you but only because I love you and I know you’re not actually this stupid.”

He sighs. “I deserve that. And you might backtrack on that bit about me not actually bein’ that stupid.” He gives you a second to respond, but he only hears you take a deep breath to prepare for what he’s about to say. “To buy them time to get away, I drove the car headfirst into the coppers.”

“Good god, Eggsy, _why_? You’re right, I’m glad you’re telling me now, but _why_ did you do it?”

“I’m sick of taking shit from the likes of them. I knew I’d get beat for it, but I couldn’t sit there and let them walk all over me in order to keep what little peace there was. I needed to give them some sorta shit back. And hey, if I wrecked his car in the process, I ain’t sorry.”

“ _Babe_ , I’m sorry that you have to deal with them every day, but you can’t do shit like this. The only person you’re hurting is yourself. Imagine if you _had_ gone to prison. That would’ve been on your record. Life already dealt you shit cards. You don’t need that adding to it.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“How’d you even swing that, by the way?”

“Which part?”

“The police arrested you, right? How’d you get out?”

“Oh, you know my dad’s medal of valor with the numbers on the back?”

“Of course.”

“I used my phone call on that and it worked. I guess it was an extension for an old war buddy of my dad’s. My dad saved a bunch of people when he died, Harry included. This was his way of repaying him.”

“Wow. I— that’s a lot of information. How are you doing with it?”

“Fine. I’ve actually got a lot going on right now, so I don’t really have time to dwell on it.”

“What are you doing? You’re not running for Dean again, are you?”

“No, no. it’s nothing like that. Never again after he literally tried to kill me.”

“What? When?”

“I didn’t mention that part?” He murmurs.

“No, Eggsy, what did he do? Are you okay?”

“Hey, I already told you that I’m fine at the start of this conversation. I wasn’t lyin’, swear down. When Harry and I were at the Black Prince, Dean’s guys came after me again, I told him to leave and Harry picked a fight with ‘em when he heard how they were raggin’ on me.”

“Shit, is _he_ okay?”

“Yeah, he kicked their asses. It was amazin’, really. The guy musta got some proper trainin’ in the military. And anyway, you know that lot is second-rate anyway.”

“Yeah, I don’t see how this comes around to Dean trying to kill you.”

"I came home and before I could figure out what my mum was bangin’ on about, why she was tryin’ to push me out the door, Dean greeted me with a fist to the face. He got a knife, slammed me against the fridge, and started yellin’ in my face. He wanted to know Harry’s name. When I wouldn’t tell him, he brought the knife to my throat, told me no one would care or notice if I was gone.” He thinks about how Harry’s voice boomed in their apartment like the voice of an angel. How he threatened Dean and it _worked_. How he gave him a place to go and offered— is offering him a chance at a new life.

“Eggsy, you know that’s not true. I love you, your mates—”

“No, I know. Besides, my mum was there, yellin’ and pullin’ at him. It undercut the message he was tryin’ to send about nobody caring about me.”

“So, how’d you get out?”

“He eventually backed off. I left and Harry called. He’s a tailor now and a spot opened up in the shop. He saw a glimpse of the situation I was in and offered me a job. It might be temporary, it’s on Saville row—”

“Eggs! You got a job? On Saville row?!”

“Right? Exactly my thoughts. So his bosses might not take kindly to the likes of me sullying their reputation—”

“Did he _say_ that?”

“He said he’d have to talk it over with his bosses but come on. He might not have a problem with me, but you know how rich people are. Anyway, the best part is: he recommended a dorm for me and I’m stayin’ there.”

“Eggsy, with the way this conversation started, I didn’t think there was a way for us to end up here, but I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks, that means a lot.” He pauses. “There’s one last thing though. They’re training a group of us together and they’re really strict. As long as we’re training, we all share this one landline, so I don’t know how often I’ll be able to call.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah.”

“A _tailor_ shop made you turn in your phone until you’re done training.”

“Yeah.”

“ _Why_? Eggsy, is a tailor shop full of old, rich pricks hazing you right now?”

Eggsy laughs. “No. Listen, I know it’s weird. I don’t know if it’s a test or if they’re paranoid or if they’re a bunch of old men who hate technology, but those are the rules for now. Give it a couple months, then I can talk to you whenever I want again.”

You sigh. “Okay. I still say it’s weird as fuck. Keep your eyes open, be safe.”

He lets out a light laugh. “Yeah, alright.”

“What’s funny?”

“You, worryin’ over me the same way I worried about you before you went off to America. That turned out pretty well for ya, didn’t it?”

You sigh. “Could be better.”

“Did somethin’ happen? I thought things were good out there.”

“Well, you’re not here, are you?”

“Awww, babes, I miss you too.”

—0—

Eggsy’s on cloud nine as he passes each test and realizes that Kingsman may very well have a place for him. Then they tell him to shoot JB and he can’t bring himself to do it. Loyalty to those he cares about has always been the most important thing to him. He’s not stupid. He knows that by giving this dog to him, making sure they bond, then asking him to kill it, they’re making sure that he’s willing to turn on his fellow agents if they told him to. Yeah, JB’s buggy eyes are the ones staring at him, but he can’t imagine those eyes being Roxy’s or Harry’s. So, Eggsy points the gun at Chester, just to see what he’ll do before he lets go and hands it over.

On his way out, he sees a cab sitting there, unattended, and figures he might as well end this thing how it began. He places JB in the back seat and drives off.

—0—

You haven’t heard from Eggsy in a while and it’s starting to worry you. Last you spoke, he said he was doing well in his training, but his mentor had also just been in a month-long coma. The minute he woke, he was busy with his own work. Eggsy tried to play it off, but you know him. This _Harry_ had come to mean a lot to Eggsy fast. You would never mention it to Eggsy or anyone else, but he has some major daddy issues buried and you can imagine an older man taking him under his wing started to fill a role for Eggsy that he may not have even known he needed filled.

An urgent call from Ginger interrupted your day off and thus, your worry over Eggsy.

“I need you to get to Statesman and prep a room for an alpha gel patient.”

“Okay, who’s down?”

“We don’t know. Going by his gear, it looks like he’s intelligence, though.

—0—

When they get there, Ginger lays the man on the bed of the machine and nods at you to take it from there. You don’t think much of it in the moment. The only thing that matters is getting this man through the procedure. The machine does most of the work, so after you connect the right tubes and switch the settings, you go over to sit with Ginger.

“Great job.”

“Hmm?” You mumble, distracted.

“That was the first time you did that by yourself.”

“Huh. Guess it was.”

She taps around on the digital clipboard in her hands a few times before she hands it over. “Your first patient.”

“I’m not a doctor.”

“I know. And he’ll get all his necessary treatments from an actual doctor, but I want you to track his progress and take care of him. You’ve been doing it for months with our own agents. They all have memory aids, ways to snap back to themselves. We have no idea what his is, so I don’t know how this is going to go. His ID has a London address. Maybe you’ll be able to bond over your shared home.”

—0—

Eggsy goes straight for the liquor after he sees Valentine shoot Harry. It feels wrong, for a moment. Like he’s looting a dead man’s home, but over these last few months, Harry came to mean a lot to him. He’s mourning. Anyway, he can’t imagine Harry would mind. He’s not missing it wherever he is now.

As he sits at Harry’s dining table, he remembers Harry teaching him proper rich people table manners. Harry teaching him how to make a proper martini. He tries not to think about the last words he exchanged with the man. That doesn’t go very well for him. In fact, after a while, _all_ he can think about is that last conversation. How disappointed Harry was in him. How even though Harry was so disappointed in him, he never said one word about him being a chav. He never even implied that any of Eggsy’s failings were due to his background. Harry had _meant_ it when he stood Eggsy in front of that mirror and told him that he saw a young man with potential. Now here he is, opportunity squandered, and Exactly where Harry found him. Except, this time he can only assume that whatever punishment Kingsman will have for stealing their property will be worse than whatever jail time he would’ve been started on already. Still, he has to go back and make sure Harry’s sacrifice wasn’t in vain.


	7. Chapter 7

Harry’s surgery finishes and Ginger nods toward him, prompting you to go over. As you approach, he has a wild look in his eye. “Who are you?” He looks around. “Where am I?”

You introduce yourself. “You were shot, you’re in a rehabilitation facility. Do you remember anything about what happened before you were shot?”

“No, I—” His eye darts around the room again. “Why— why can I only see out of one eye?” His breathing starts coming faster.

“Hey, I need you to take a few deep breaths for me, yeah? Come on, in…” You breathe in, signaling for him to mimic you. It takes a minute, but he concedes. “Right, good. And out. Do that a few more times for me.”

He does, and after he has a hold of himself, he sits still and murmurs his thanks. “Please tell me what happened, dragging this out won’t do anyone any good.”

“I actually don’t know what happened. We found you outside a hate church, shot in the head, through the eye. You were the only one we could save. Besides that, Everyone in the church was dead. It looks like you came out unscathed, only to meet a bullet by someone else’s hand.”

He blinks for a moment. “I don’t know why I’m surprised. Violence against gay people isn’t rare. I have no idea how I stumbled onto the grounds of a hate church, but— I suppose you never think it’ll happen to you until it does. I presume I’m lucky to be alive.”

“I know it’s a lot to take in. You mentioned violence against gay people. Are you gay, is that the only reason you think someone would target you?”

“I assumed that was implied.”

“Just clarifying.” He looks nervous, so you continue. “This is a safe place. No one is going to judge you here.”

He nods. “I figured if I could say it anywhere, it would be a medical facility. But thank you.”

“Of course.”

He nods. “Have you called my mother?”

“No, we don’t have any information on you.”

“They took my wallet too?”

“We looked you up and the I.D. you had was fake.”

“That’s ridiculous. I don’t have a—”

“Hey, it’s okay. We aren’t the police and we aren’t going to call them. Your health and safety are all we care about. Tell me your name, and who to call, and we’ll get this sorted.”

“Oh, I didn’t— how rude of me. My name is Harry Hart.” He rattles off an address and phone numbers of his family.

“Alright, I’m going to move you to another room so you’re more comfortable and I’ll look everything up for you.”

He nods. “Thank you.” He pauses. “I— your accent is strange, where are you from?”

You let out a laugh. “I’m from London too. One of my moms was American and I’ve been here over two years now.”

“ _One_ of your mums?”

“Yeah, they were married.”

He stares at you in disbelief. “I’m sorry, what year is it?”

You furrow your brows. “2014, why?”

“You don’t happen to be shitting me, do you?”

“Harry, what year do you think it is?”

“1984.” He sits there for a long moment. You have no idea what to say. “I thought it looked an odd sort of futuristic in here.”

“Harry I’m so sorry.”

He shakes his head. “It’s not your doing.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t have compassion.”

“I suppose you’d be ill-suited to nursing if you didn’t have it.”

“Okay, follow me. I’ll take you to your room and I’ll still look into those numbers. See if they’re the same.”

“Thank you.” He pauses. “I don’t know who will answer, but I doubt my mother is still alive. I was supposed to help her in her old age. I hope I saw that through.”

“I’ll see if I can get any leads for you.”

—0—

“Ginger, the man’s a ghost.” You mutter after chasing the leads he gave you only to watch each of them die.

“That’s not surprising. We picked him up because we thought he was some sort of agent.”

“Well, what are we supposed to do with him now?”

“Keep an eye on him, help him through his recovery. See if we can get any information on the agency he’s from. They might look for him. I took a look at his gear and I was able to recover some footage from his glasses. Take a look.”

You wince as you listen to the things the preacher was saying in his sermon. After a few minutes of this, the perspective shifts as Harry turns to leave. A lady gets in his way, asks where he’s going. A truly beautiful string of words falls from his mouth. “I’m a Catholic whore, currently engaged in congress out of wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend who works at a military abortion clinic. So, hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon.” Your jaw drops and you pause the feed.

“Did you fucking hear that? That was off the cuff. It’s hard to believe he’s the same man as the one I’m helping now.”

“Keep watching.” She unpauses it.

He slips past the woman but she follows him into the aisle, yelling after him. Then an alarm starts blaring from everyone’s phones and everything goes to shit. The fighting lasts three minutes and Harry takes out every single person in the church.

“Shit.” You mutter.

“Yeah.”

Harry steps outside, confronts Richmond Valentine, says he had no control over himself. They banter. Harry gets shot. The feed blacks out.

“Fuck.”

“Yeah.” Ginger agrees.

“Well, what do we do?”

“I already sent it to Champ, he’s trying to get a handle on things. It’s hard with this little information.”

“I figured as much. What do we do with Harry? Are we going to show this to him? I know traumatic memories can bring back the rest.”

She shakes her head. “I doubt it would work. Whenever we've used alpha gel on our agents, when they lose their memory, it takes an older memory to bring them back to themselves. I’m afraid this would only confuse him further. If it doesn’t work, we cannot heap that type of responsibility on a civilian. Can you imagine the guilt? It would be bad enough to lose control of yourself like that as an agent, but knowing you did that and not knowing why?” She shakes her head.

“Yeah, that makes sense.”

—0—

Eggsy lets out a breath as he sinks into a chair on the Kingsman jet.

“How does it feel knowing you saved the world and turned down a lovely proposition from a princess in the process?”

“I’m feelin’ tired and like a decent boyfriend.” He takes a minute to breathe before it hits him. “Wait, was Rox ever able to get ahold of her, her mum, an’ my mum? Are they okay?”

“Your mum and your sister are fine, so is your neighbor. Neither of us was able to get ahold of your girlfriend.”

Eggsy gets up and scrambles for where he left his phone before he got off the plane. He has five missed calls from you and a text asking him to let you know that he’s safe. When he calls, you answer on the third ring, thank god.

“Eggsy? Are you okay? Where are you?”

“Yeah, love, it’s me. I’m alright. I’m sorry it took me so long to respond, I was—” He cuts himself off. He can’t say he was saving the world.

“You were with your mates.” Merlin’s voice supplies from the cockpit. “You were at each other’s throats in the chaos.”

“Eggsy?” You prompt, concerned.

“Sorry. I— I was with Brandon and Jamal.” His voice is small, having to lie to you like this. _About_ this. But it carries well, makes him sound broken up about the fighting that didn’t happen. “We—” he murmurs your name. “Everyone was fightin’. We were— we were fuckin’ out for blood. An’ I— I was _angry_ , for some reason. I saw red, it was like I ‘ad no control. I _wanted_ to hurt ‘em.” He lets out a harsh breath, drawing from Harry’s last words to lend realism to his story. _Fuck_ , this feels shitty. Weaving a story to this extent. But he knows if he doesn’t, you’ll try to pry it out of him later. And you’ll be so loving, and he’ll see your face on his phone, and he thinks you might even get the truth out of him then. So, he fights for his second chance at Kingsman. For Harry.

“Is everyone okay?

“Yeah.” He hopes to God that’s true. “We all stopped at the same time, fretted over each other, apologized. An’ we all accepted it. What I felt— we all knew we’d gone through the same thing. It’s the only explanation.”

“Well, you’re right about that. Everyone I’ve talked to here has similar stories. I was reading an article— it didn’t have a lot of sources so I don’t know how true it is—” you tack that part on so he doesn’t read too much into why you’re so sure about this information. “But it was saying all this was because of those free SIM cards Valentine put out. It cited more cases of people losing control of themselves. I don’t see anyone arguing, either. I think we all went through an awful collective experience that we’re all hoping to forget about.”

“Yeah.” He sighs. “You’re okay, though? I know you were going to wait till the hype died down to get one but I didn’t get one either and look what ‘appened.”

“Yeah, I was at work the whole time and my coworkers were on the same train I was about the whole thing, so we’re all safe here. I only heard about it because of the news. The moment I did, I called you.”

“I saw that. Thanks for worryin’ about me. You ‘ave no idea how relieved I am that you didn’t have to go through none of that.”

“I can imagine it's about as worried as I am that you _did_.”

He lets out a breath. “Yeah. All things considered, I’m alright, love. You don’t gotta worry about me.”

You hum. “Tough shit, Eggs. I’ll always worry about you.”

“I know.”

There’s a lull in your conversation but neither of you is ready to hang up yet.

“So, I take it your mum and Daisy are safe.”

“Yeah. You heard from your mum?”

“Yeah, she didn’t get the SIM card either. She barricaded herself in her house. Said she got a call telling her not to leave or let anyone in no matter what’s going on outside. I don’t know who called but thank God for them— and that she listened.”

He lets out a breath. “Yeah, we know your mum has a soft spot for hopeless cases.”

“Eggs, come on. You were never the juvenile delinquent everyone thought you were at first glance. You certainly were never hopeless. You helped a lady home with her groceries, for fuck’s sake.”

“Well, there was a promise of meetin’ a pretty girl upon completion of that task.”

“What?”

“Your mum never told you the whole story?”

“No, are you telling me that she bribed you with her own daughter?”

“Well, I was a teenage boy an’ I was bein’ stubborn. To be fair, she never said anythin’ about you bein’ gorgeous. In fact, she only said that you needed friends and we were the same age.”

“ _I_ needed friends?”

He lets out a laugh at that. “I love you babes, but was she wrong?”

You sigh. “Rarely.”

He grins as he imagines the exact way you’re rolling your eyes right now. When silence falls over the two of you again, he sighs. “Alright, I actually do need to call my mum again. I knew I’d want to talk to you for a while, so I only checked in on her before I called you.”

“Yeah, I’m at work right now, so I should go too.”

“Alright, I’ll talk to you later, then. I’ll call before bed, yeah?”

“Sounds good. I’m glad you’re safe.

“I’m glad you’re safe too. I’d do just about anythin’ to have you in my arms right now.”

“Yeah, me too, Eggs.” You murmur before you pick yourself back up so neither of you has to hang up sounding upset. “Go call your mum.”

“Yeah, talk to you soon.”

—0—

It’s been a few weeks monitoring Harry and you’re growing to care for him. You notice he’ll start talking about his family or school, then catch sight of himself in the mirror and trail off. It’s sad to see, but you try not to feel too bad for him. No one wants pity. So, you talk about your favorite places back home and he’ll talk about his. When he retreats into himself, you ask after his studies, at least. You never thought you’d know so much about butterflies.

—0—

Eggsy’s been on a video call with you for a while now, telling you what he can about his new job as a ‘tailor’. Of course, there’s a lot he can’t say about Kingsman, but he does his best to be truthful with you. He can’t help telling you about— often heavily edited versions of his adventures with Roxy.

“Eggsy, that’s all so great, I’m so happy for you. I mean it. When I think about you, I always worry, but more and more lately, I’m filled with a sense of relief and contentment, knowing you’re doing so well. Between that great job you landed and knowing you and your family are far away from Dean— I’m _so_ proud of you. And I’m happy you’re getting on with your coworkers too.”

A warm feeling spreads through his chest, hearing your words. “Thanks, love. I’m pretty proud, myself.”

“Nothing wrong with that.”

“So what about you? Anythin’ new with you?”

“Yeah, actually. There’s this…” You have to figure out how you can tell him about Harry without telling him anything about Harry’s situation or your position at work taking care of him.

“There’s this what?” He asks when you trail off.

“Oh, sorry, I got distracted, my mom texted me.”

“Oh, how is she?”

“She’s good. Just saying hi.”

He nods and waits for you to continue.

“Anyway, there’s this new guy at work, he’s older, his name is Harry.”

Eggsy’s face falls at the mention of that name.

“Shit, Eggsy, I— I’m sorry.”

He shakes his head. “Not your fault. Harry’s a common name. Can’t spend my whole life avoidin’ it now can I?”

“No, but it’s still fresh. I know I didn’t know him, but you can talk to me if you ever feel like it.”

He nods; takes a minute to blink away the tears. “Thanks. You were goin’ to tell me about your new coworker, though.”

“It’s not important, I can tell you later.”

“No, if some new guy is comin’ along tryin’ to steal my girl, I want to know about it.”

You roll your eyes. “Well, he’s more than twice my age.”

“That never stopped anyone.”

“He’s also not interested in women. You happy?”

He shrugs “Yeah. I was kiddin’.”

“Me too. Anyway, we keep running into each other at lunch so we’ve started talking. He’s from London too. I swear everyone else who works here is an actual cowboy— it's ridiculous— so it's nice to have someone from home. He loves butterflies, last he remembers, he was about to go to school to become a lepidopterist.”

Eggsy very pointedly does _not_ look at Harry’s framed butterflies still littering the walls. "Wait, last he remembers?"

_Fuck_. "Did I say that?" You let out a laugh. "He was telling me he almost went to school for that when he was younger. He's kept his enthusiasm for it, though. It's cute watching him talk about it."

Eggsy smiles at that.

“It’s funny, he’s a posh guy, all proper on the surface, but when you get to talking, he has this razor-sharp wit he’s hiding. A lot of people act like he’s a doddering old man, but he’s one of the most engaging conversationalists I’ve ever met. Like, I love Ginger, but she’s a workaholic, and there’s this guy— I've mentioned him in passing before, people call him Tequila—”

“Yeah, I remember him.”

“Well, we’re friends too, but he’s— I don’t know. He’s always ready to chime in when he hears ginger and I talking about anything other than work, but I think a lot of that is him not wanting to work. I don’t know, I’m not giving him enough credit right now. He’s a good guy. I just— it gets lonely out here. And since Harry started, I can finally have a real conversation with someone. I don’t know if that makes sense.”

“That makes plenty of sense, babes. I’m glad he’s makin’ it better for you.” He pauses. “You still doin’ okay out there? Still enjoyin’ it?” You shrug and he narrows his eyes, studying your face on the screen. “You’re not?”

“I don’t— I mean, everything’s fine. The job is still good but I’m in goddamned Kentucky of all places. And I know I live in a _nice_ area in Kentucky, but Eggs, this is the most backwoods place I’ve ever been.”

He furrows his brows. “You’ve been out there for over two years now. You always acted like you loved it.”

“It was good, at first. Anything’s better than where we were. It was enough to be in a new country when I came here. Then when that started to wear off, I thought I should give it another chance, _try_ to like it here. Then I thought I only hated it because it’s so far from you and my mom and I knew what you’d both say about that. But I made a commitment to these people and to myself when I moved out here. This is my life now, I can’t just come home.”

“Well, if you thought that your mum and I would tell you to come home if you’re not happy, you’re right. But I understand that you’ve built something for yourself out there. It breaks my heart that you hate it, though. Whenever I miss you too much, I tell myself it’s okay because you’re happy out there.”

You sigh. “I figured. That’s another reason I didn’t say anything. I’m sorry, I didn’t call to complain.”

“It’s fine, even if you did. We don’t get a lot of normal moments as a couple. One of the things I _can_ do for you as your friend and boyfriend is listen. You’ve done that for me all this time.”

You sigh. “I need to plan another trip out there but I’m so busy. When I’m not working I’m exhausted and we’re slammed at work right now. I don’t think I could take any time off.”

“What if I came out there?”

“Really?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know when I could swing it. I’ve got a decent job now, so I can afford it, but that also means I don’t know when I can take time off. Especially since I’m so new. But I can look into it. I know I’m not the only one you come out to see, but this way you won’t have to take time off.”

“I’d feel bad leaving you here all day.”

“I’d be fine. You could leave me a list of your favorite places and I could see how you live.”

“That would be enough for you?”

“Well, of course not. But I’d rather have your nights and mornings for a few days than nothing. The most lonely time is when I’m layin’ in bed, anyway. If I could have you next to me as I fall asleep; wake up to the bed moving as you get up, listen to you get ready, maybe sneak a peak,” he grins. “That’s the closest I’ll get to happiness until one of us caves and moves closer.”

“I wonder if they have a London branch. It makes sense, they sell there. It seems cheaper to have a distillery out there.”

“Is this the first time you've thought about transferring? If I knew that, I would've brought it up sooner. I figured it wasn't an option.”

“It never seemed like one. Champ specifically picked me to come out here, and Ginger needs me, but it’s been a while. I could check. I’d do next to anything to come home.”

“Sounds like we both have some things to look into.”

“Eggs, I’d appreciate it if you kept this between us. I’m thinking out loud here, I don’t know if or when this would even happen.”

“Yeah, course. I know that.”

“Alright, well, it’s getting late.”

“Yeah.” He sighs. “I gotta be at the shop in the morning too.”

“I love you, Eggs.”

He blows you a kiss and winks. “Love you too, babes.”

—0—

You weren’t lying when you told Eggsy that you see Harry at lunch. At first, you’d eat with him in hopes that he would talk to you. Then he did, and like you told Eggsy on the phone, he’s proved to be one of the most interesting people to talk to. You have the same sense of humor and it’s enjoyable. He’ll complain about the other nurses and while you don’t agree with him, it's not like you're close with any of them. Anyway, you'd be lying if you said it didn't bring you a sense of pride hearing it.

“Hello, Harry, how has it been?” You greet as you bring your lunches in.

“Well, Max was the nurse last night, so I wasn’t in the best of spirits.”

“Give him a break, he’s new to all this.”

“His bedside manner would certainly suggest that he is but his badge dates back two years.”

“Sharp eye, you have. Sure you weren’t some kind of spy in your other life?”

“I’m not sure of anything these days.”

You pass him his food and get to work on yours. “Well, not everyone can be me, I’ve been patching up whiny men since I was 15.”

“Do you have a brother with a penchant for getting into fights?”

“Boyfriend. But we were friends at the time. His stepdad was shitty, so he’d come to me when he couldn’t take it anymore. At first, it was for conversation. Sometimes we’d watch a movie, but it wasn’t long before I got a first aid kit and googled how to patch up the worst of his wounds.”

“I’m sorry, you’ll have to remember that I might as well have been locked in here since the eighties. You... _googled_ it?”

“Shit, right, they wouldn’t have even been an obscure search engine yet.”

Harry is still looking at you confused.

“Wait, was _internet_ even around yet?”

“Not to my knowledge.”

“ _Fuck_. you’ve taken a lot of technology you’ve seen in stride.”

He shrugs. “I don’t suppose the world stopped moving because I got shot.”

“Shit. Aren’t you interested in it?”

“Of course, but I don’t see what any of it has to do with my stay here.”

“Everything, Harry. If you’re to recover and get back out there to live your life, you need to know how it works. I’ll see if I can get you a tablet you can use.”

“You still haven’t told me what _googled_ means.”

“Sorry, that threw me for a loop.”

“Imagine how I feel.”

“I can’t begin to. Um, google is a way we use to search for information now.” You pull out your phone. And open up the search bar. “You type in whatever you’re looking for and there it is.”

“Fascinating. Though I couldn’t have predicted it, I can’t say I’m surprised. They were doing all sorts of things with computers last I checked.”

“You know, some of the other staff is worried about you and your recovery. I don’t think they have any reason to be.”

“You think I’ll make a full recovery; remember the life I’m supposed to be living?”

“I don’t know. I’m just a nurse trying to do something useful while I get my degree. I don’t know about what you’re _supposed_ to be doing. I’m sure your life before we found you was very different than you remember it being, but you’re adaptive. I have no doubt you’ll do fine for yourself.”

He sighs before looking you over. “So you’re working toward becoming a doctor?”

“Not the medical kind. I’m studying engineering. I want to improve and invent tech.”

He raises his brows. “That’s a very different field from nursing.”

You shrug. “Like I told you, I thought I’d take to it pretty easily after patching up Eggsy for so long.”

He sits there for a long moment, deep in thought as he picks at his lunch. “Eggsy.” He murmurs the name. “He’s your boyfriend, yes?”

You nod.

"Strange name, isn't it?"

"Well, his real name's Gary."

He hums. "Less strange."

"Yeah, I guess so." You chuckle.

"Is that from him?" He points to the ring on your hand. “I notice you’re always wearing it.”

You smile down at it. "It is. Reminds me of him, of home."

"It's beautiful. Does he have a good job, then?"

You let out a laugh, but catch yourself before you say no. "Well, actually, he does now. Took him a long time to get there, though. He stole this right before I moved here years ago."

Harry raises his brows and eyes your ring again. "Well, I can imagine robbing jewelry stores pays well."

You shake your head. "Wasn't like that. Not for a long time now. When he was at home, his stepdad dragged him into all sorts of drugs and stealing. But he stopped all that around 17 or 18. This, um," you laugh as you watch the fluorescent lights bounce off the diamonds in the ring. "This was a little relapse before we headed our separate ways. He didn't go out to do it or anything. He was getting us coffee and I guess some rich lady was yelling at the barista. He stepped in and swiped it off her in the process."

Harry cracks a grin. "Well, I suppose the term 'no harm no foul’ was created for instances such as these."

You shrug. “That’s always how I looked at it. Even when his stepdad bullied him into it, he had a code. Got beat his fair share for not doing certain jobs.”

“He must have a great skill for it, stealing a ring of all things, and right off of someone’s hand.”

“He does. But that’s not all he is. He’s so loyal and caring.” You don’t know why you feel the need to defend Eggsy. It’s not like Harry will ever meet him.

“I would never assume that anyway.”

You nod but let the silence hang between you for a minute while you eat. “Harry, I’ll miss you when you leave us.”

“I do believe I’ll miss you as well. You’re the first and only person so far who hasn’t pitied me.”


	8. Chapter 8

Eggsy’s been working for Kingsman less than a year when he returns home from a stop at the market to a hole in the wall of buildings where his home should be. He doesn’t know how to process it— barely has time to think about the implications before he sees a figure walking through the rubble from the other side. He draws his gun and aims, holding steady even after he recognizes the figure as Merlin.

“Eggsy, do you know what happened here?”

“I got no clue. I just got ‘ome an’ there’s a giant fucking hole where my ‘ouse should be. Jb was in there.” He lets out a harsh breath.

“Eggsy, I regret to inform you that this happened to every Kingsman agent and base of operations.”

“Rox?” Eggsy breathes.

Merlin gives a solemn nod. “Aye. I’m sorry, lad, I know the two of you were close.”

Eggsy puts his hand up to his face and shakes his head, tears already stinging at his eyes. _Isn’t he supposed to be in denial? Shouldn’t it take a while for this to feel real before this anguish takes over his whole self?_

“Kingsman may be down, but we’re still here and as far as I’m concerned, you’re still agent Galahad. There is a protocol for us to follow in an event such as this. I need you to remember your training, pull yourself together. You can deal with what you’re feeling once we’ve seen this through.”

This is all fresh enough that Eggsy can compartmentalize. He can— has to— pretend that this is all some sort of test that Merlin made up; that Roxy will drink him under the table after all this and merlin will hand JB back safe and sound. For now, though, he’ll follow orders.

—0—

Merlin is sobbing and singing into Eggsy’s shoulder by the time they get to the bottom of the bottle. The _bottle_. They work for an underground, rich as fuck spy organization, and their doomsday protocol is a fucking bottle of whiskey. Eggsy turns the bottle over in his hands, letting out a humorless laugh. If God is real, he’s cruel and has the absolute worst sense of humor. The specific alcohol that was left for them to find, is of course, from the distillery that took you from him years ago. Even though his drunken haze, he knows that’s dramatic. He knows going to Statesman was your choice but that doesn’t change how this feels. As he turns the aged bottle over, he knows that an agent put it in the safe years before either of you were even born. Still, after losing everything, he needs _someone_. You're the person he's always turned to for comfort, so it isn't shocking that his mind fabricates a connection to you through this representation of your new life in his hands. So, he stares at the glass with longing, while trying to be a rock for Merlin.

He stares long enough, in fact, that at rock bottom, completely on accident, he finds a clue. There, printed on the back, it says: DISTILLED IN KENTUCKY. He has to blink the drink from his eyes to confirm what he's seeing. There, right before him, is the Kingsman logo staring back at him from its spot leading the state’s name.

“Merlin, I think we’re goin’ to Kentucky.” It’s the only thing resembling a clue they have. Why couldn't this of all things be the one thing that Kingman did away with all the smoke and mirrors for? But now that he's seen it, he can't take his eyes off it. He knows its a real clue, wouldn’t have mentioned it if it wasn’t. Even as he thinks this, the only thing he can bring himself to care about at this point is that he’ll get to see you.

“Fried chicken? Sure I—”

Eggsy's brain has to play catch up for a minute before he even knows what Merlin's talking about. “No, proper Kentucky.”

“Eggsy, I know you lost everything— I did too— but now isn’t the time to go see your girlfriend.”

“No, Merlin— look.” Eggsy thrusts the bottle in front of merlin, pointing out what he found.

“Aye, I do believe you’re right.”

—0—

Their first course of action was to sober up, buy plane tickets, figure out lodgings, all that. Now, on the plane, Eggsy hasn't been able to stop thinking about you. Which is fine. Right now, it's either thinking about you or the fact that he's lost everything he owns, his job, and so many people. So, you it is. You've always been a balm to his heartache anyway.

Not that he gets to see you right away. Merlin made it clear that the mission comes first. It always does. So, he'll have to wait to see you at least until they've figured out what they're even doing at the distillery. He understands, of course he does. He’s a spy and a damn good one. That doesn’t mean he has to like it.

Now that they’re headed to Statesman headquarters and he’s had some time with the information, he can’t stop thinking about the possibility that they’re spies as well. Why else would this be Kingsman’s failsafe? If Statesman is a front, does everyone at the vast distillery know or is there a clearance level? Do _you_ know about it? Have you been an agent for longer than he has? With the way that _Champ_ took you under his wing and swept you away, it would make sense. Your job has never made complete sense to him. You talk about your coworkers more than your actual job. He lets out a breath at the thought. If you’re a spy, that means he’s here to get your help. He’ll _finally_ be able to tell you everything.

 _If._ This is all speculation and the thought of you knowing-- _understanding_ \-- everything is too much hope to give himself. He wouldn't be able to handle it if that hope shattered. So, he crushes it down. Statesman is a huge company and he can’t imagine all their employees knowing and keeping it secret. From what he understands, you have a menial job while you’re interning. It’s not only possible but likely that if there’s a secret spy organization here, you’re oblivious while it’s happening under your nose.

—0—

“Hey Harry, how are you feeling today?”

“Same as yesterday, I’m afraid.”

You hum. “No memories?”

“No, and frankly, that question is getting old. At this point is there much hope of me going back to my past life?”

You sigh. “Without anyone who knows you to help it along? I doubt it. But head injuries are strange. Anything can happen.”

“I suppose you’ll be releasing me soon. I doubt you can keep a deadweight around for very long before billing hunts us down.”

“First of all, I know it’s not worth a lot, but you make my days far better. I can’t imagine the difficulties you’re dealing with, the feelings of self-doubt and hopelessness. No one wants to be cooped up like this forever and you won’t be, but you have a place here until you’re ready to leave. That’s one of the things I love about this facility. They were founded by rich people trying to do some genuine good and it’s stayed that way. You don’t have to worry about getting kicked out.”

He nods. “In any case, it’s time I started looking for a job so I can work toward going home.”

“Yeah, that’s not a bad idea. I think you’re ready for it. And we’ll be here for you until you get on your feet. I hope you and I can stay in touch even after you go home.”

“Good, so is there a phone I can use and a paper I can look for help wanted ads?”

Oh, that’s not how you job hunt anymore. I can help you— hang on, Ginger is trying to contact me.” You step out of the room to answer her call. “Hey, what is it?”

“Tequila picked up two agents who were snooping around. I have to fact check their story, can you go supervise and make sure he doesn’t take it too far?”

“Yeah, of course.”

—0—

You walk in the surveillance room to the sight of Tequila pouring whiskey over the laps of the two agents. You roll your eyes. Of course. He’s been wanting to test out this interrogation technique for a while now.

“Tequila, what the fuck? You don’t even know if their story is true yet and you’re doing this bit?” You turn to the two men. “Listen, I’m _so_ —” You stop short. When you walked in, the picture before you had you jumping on damage control, so you didn’t get a chance to look at the men. You didn’t see a reason to. But now, sitting, tied to the chair in front of you is _Eggsy Unwin_. You have no idea who the other bloke is, but _Eggsy_ is sitting in front of you where the spies are supposed to be. He looks as shocked as you are. “ _Eggs_?” You breathe, trying to figure out what’s going on. His suit is nice, you note.

Only then do you realize that the other man tied to the chair and Tequila are both staring at the two of you.

—0—

Eggsy’s anger has been building since he woke up zip-tied to a chair. He’s been keeping up his cheeky banter because it’s all he can do, but the rage is there, boiling under the surface. It peaked when Tequila started dumping whiskey on his crotch. Then he heard your voice berating Tequila. It piqued his curiosity, but he couldn’t let himself believe that it was really you. Until you came to stand in front of him, he was convinced that the familiarity in that voice was wishful thinking. But now you’re here, the name you fondly call him on your lips as you stare at him in disbelief. He knows the feeling. _Fuck_ he’s missed you.

“ _Fuck_.” He breathes out a sigh of relief. “Thank God you’re here.”

“You know these guys?” Tequila cuts in.

“Yes. Well, I know Eggsy. Not sure who this guy is.” You motion to Merlin.

“ _This_ is Eggsy?” Tequila asks. “ _The_ Eggsy that you’re always talkin’ about?”

Eggsy narrows his eyes at Tequila. He doesn’t like his tone.

“Yes, what are you getting at Tequila?” You ask.

“Nothin’.” He holds his hands up in surrender. “I didn’t say anythin’ about it. But he was pretty easy to take out.”

Eggsy puffs up at that, sticking his chin out. Sure, Tequila took them off guard but it’s not like he’s giving them a warm welcome. These zip-ties and threatening to light their dicks on fire isn’t even giving them the benefit of the doubt. Hasn’t this guy ever heard of professional courtesy?

—0—

“So why are you guys here, what’s the story that we’re confirming?” You ask Eggsy.

He takes a breath and stops glaring at Tequila to turn to you. _Wow_ , did you miss him and his unearned sense of confidence. Although, apparently he’s a _spy_. What _do_ you know about him anymore?

“Love, do you mind cuttin’ us free so we can bring you up to speed?”

“Eggs, I can’t do that until you tell me what’s going on.”

He sighs. “Okay. I— before I start, I need you to know that I’ve been as honest with you as I was allowed to be with my job. The fact that I’m telling you this while I’m tied to a chair tells me that you understand that.”

“Yeah, I get it— or I hope I will. Obviously there’s a lot more to what I do than I’ve told you. We both have explaining to do.”

“Alright, well, I’m not a Tailor. Kingsman is— _was_ a spy organization. Two days ago, it got blown to shit. Our base, all the agent’s homes with them in it—” Eggsy’s voice cracks.

His eyes are glassy and he clenches his jaw, trying to get himself under control. You step closer, taking his bound hand in yours and squatting down in front of him. “Eggsy, I’m so sorry.” Over the years you’ve seen him beaten time and time again. You’ve seen him trapped in his life with Dean; strung out on drugs trying to find some escape— trying to figure out what’s so great for his mum to be like this all the time— heartbroken and helpless because he couldn’t protect himself or his family. You’ve never seen him look this _hopeless_. “Hey, look at me.”

He sniffs, takes a deep breath, and does as you asked.

A couple of tears escape before he’s able to blink the rest away and you reach up to wipe them away. “I know there’s nothing either of us can do about what happened, but you’re here, safe now.”

“Safe? If I were _safe_ I wouldn’t be tied to a chair.”

“Eggs, it’s protocol. You’ll be out in no time. I won’t let anything happen to you.” You run your free hand through his hair and over his cheek.

He sighs. “Okay. I’m sorry, I’m— I was trained to be better than this.”

“I don’t know how Kingsman trained, but we don’t train for anything like this. After everything you went through, I’m sure having me here is bringing up a lot of emotions because normally, I’m where you feel safe sharing them.”

He clenches his jaw, hyper-aware of Merlin and Whiskey, still staring. “Thanks love, but can we do this later? I know you’re trying to help but—”

“Right, sorry. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot, I just— it breaks my heart hearing what you’re going through. So, after all that, how did you guys know to come here?”

Merlin takes over the explanation at that point. “After it happened, we had a bit of hope. My whole career, I’d been told that our predecessors set up a failsafe for us in case something like this ever happened. I’m sure you know how dangerous our line of work can be. Our only clue was an old bottle of Statesman whiskey.”

“That’s a shit clue.”

“Aye. We thought it was upper-class humor and drank the bottle in lieu of any better ideas. Then Eggsy noticed our insignia on the label.”

Before you can say much, Ginger comes rushing in with a black umbrella. “Their story checks. I went to our emergency safe and this was in it. I guess our founder’s tailor was a Kingsman.” She explains on her way over to cut Merlin’s binds.

You don’t need any further permission to whip out your own pocket knife and free Eggsy. Before you have the chance to stand, he sinks to his knees and wraps you in a crushing hug. Of course, you return the embrace with equal force. Soon, you feel him trailing kisses down your neck, where he’d tucked his head.

“I’m so sorry about Tequila. I was hoping y/n would de-escalate the situation,” Ginger apologizes as Merlin stands.

“Believe it or not she did,” Merlin mumbles, glancing over to the display the two of you are making.

You run your hand through Eggsy’s hair in a calming gesture as you pull away from him. “I love you, Eggs. I’m so happy this is where you ended up. I have so much to show you.”

“Wait, Eggsy? We’ve heard so much about you,” Ginger says.

Eggsy isn’t sure what to do with that. “I— good things, I hope.”

Ginger laughs. “Yeah, mostly.”

“Wha— _mostly_?” He turns to you. “You airin’ out our dirty laundry ‘ere? Didn’t even know we ‘ad anythin’ to air out.”

“We don’t, love.” You kiss him. “Ginger found footage of your chase that landed you in the police station before you had a chance to tell me. She helped me work through my anger at you for being an idiot before you called me.”

“Guess I owe you one, then.” He looks over at Ginger.

“I try to be unbiased in all things.” She shrugs. “Besides, we had work to do. I couldn’t have her more distracted than she’d already been.” She pauses. “And we have work to do now.” She changes the tint on the mirror to reveal Harry. “Do you know him?”

“Oh my God,” Eggsy says at the same time as Merlin. Eggsy looks like he’s about to cry.

“We thought he was— can we—” Eggsy points, unable to form full sentences right now.

“Wait, Eggsy, is this your Harry?” You ask.

“Yeah. Wait, is this the Harry you’ve been telling me about?”

“You’ve been what?” Ginger asks.

“Sorry, I’ve kept it vague, said he was a coworker.”

“He’s not your coworker.” Eggsy murmurs. When he looks up, he looks betrayed. “So, what, he’s your prisoner?”

“Patient. He has amnesia. Can’t remember a thing.”

"Your patient? What, you're a doctor now too?"

"Not for a few more years and not the medical kind. But in the meantime, I thought I could be useful around here as a nurse. I was right. We've kept him here on professional courtesy, and hoping someone would come looking."

“Fuck.”

“Yeah, we’ve done what we can for him— I wasn’t lying when I told you I have lunch with him most days. I can see why he means so much to you, Eggs.”

He lets out a breath. "How far back is his memory gone?"

"He thinks he's in college. Well, he knows better now but that's the last he remembers."

"I know he won't remember me, but can we still see him?"

You look at Ginger and she shrugs. "Yeah. After, I want to work with you to see if we can get any memories to resurface now that we have some people who know him better."

"Yes, of course." Merlin agrees.

“Come on, I’ll reintroduce you. He’s been talking about going home, I was actually about to sit down with him and show him how job hunting works now. Then Tequila picked you two up and thank god I came out to supervise _that_. Let me go in first, okay? I don’t want to spring this on him with no warning.”

Eggsy nods. “No, yeah, that’s smart. Go on.”

—0—

“Hey, Harry. Sorry I had to run off like that.” You say as you step in the room.

“It’s quite alright. You have a job to do. I don’t imagine I’m the only patient under your care.”

“Actually, I have some news for you.” You gingerly take a seat next to him. “When I rushed out of here it was because there were people here looking for you.”

“What?”

“Yeah, there’s two men outside that door who are really excited to see you. They thought you were dead all this time.”

“Who are they? How do I know them?”

“Harry, the last thing I want to do is make this about me, but I don’t want you to feel like I was keeping things from you. One of the men who are here to see you is my boyfriend, Eggsy. Turns out: he was close with you before you lost your memories. When I talked to him about you, it had to be buried in some white lies for privacy reasons. Harry’s a common enough name and despite seeing similarities between the Harry he knew and you when I talked about you, he thought you were dead. I know you don’t remember, but Eggsy would’ve gone to jail and been back with his abusive stepfather by now if it weren’t for you.”

Harry sits there in silence for a minute. “Well, I’m glad I was able to guide your delinquent lover onto the straight and narrow. He’s here now?”

“Yes, along with a long time colleague and friend of yours, from what I understand. I wanted to give you a heads up and give them time to calm down before I let them ambush you.”

“I appreciate that.”

“Of course. They knew you well, so we were thinking they could be a new resource to try getting your memories back. Or at least a way to get something close to your old life back.”

“A life I haven’t lived. That doesn’t sound nearly as tempting as you think it does.”

“Harry, they’re not here to tempt you.” You roll your eyes. “They care about you and they want to see you. Don’t you want to at least meet them?”

“Of course I do.” He pauses. “Right now?”

“We can wait if you need some time with the information.”

“No.” He hates to ask this, feels even more like a child than he has since he woke up here with people watching and caring for him at all times. “Will you stay with me? I think it would help to have a buffer for this.”

“Yeah, of course. I have to go get them, but I’ll show them back.”

You close the door behind you and head back to get Eggsy and Merlin. Merlin is already workshopping ideas with Ginger to help Harry while Eggsy leans on the wall, wearily eyeing Tequila. Or he was until he heard you walk in.

“How is he? What did he say?” Eggsy asks.

“He’s not too sure about any of this, but he does want to meet you guys, so I told him I’d bring you in. I don’t know who he was when you knew him, but from what I can tell, he’s not the same man. You have to remember, it's been over a year with no leads on his past life. Now he finds out two strangers who claim to know him are here minutes before they come in. He might be short with you. Give him some space when you get in there.”

—0—

When Eggsy steps in and sees Harry, he’s glad you took that moment to make them stop and think because all he wants to do is charge at his mentor with a hug. He’s sure that talk was largely because you know him, and you knew that would be his instinct. If Harry’s removed manner and suspicious eyes are anything to go by, you were right to warn them.

“ _Harry_.” Eggsy cannot, by any means, keep the emotion out of his voice. In fact, he’s feeling a lump form in his throat. “I know you don’t remember me, but I’m so happy you’re alive. I— I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’m sure I’m not the person you remember, but thank you all the same. I should like to learn about you both as well as the life I’m supposed to be getting back to.”

Merlin and Eggsy exchange a glance at that.

“Harry—” Merlin stops and turns to you. “Could we go somewhere that isn’t _literally_ a padded cell? And do you mind giving us some privacy?”

“I asked her to stay,” Harry responds before you can. “Regardless of what my life was like before, I don’t remember either of you. She has been the one helping me through this every day. She can be privy to any information about my past.”

Merlin gives one last unreadable glance in your direction before he sighs and takes a seat on the cot in the middle of the room. “You’d do well to take a seat, you’ve lived quite a life and it’s going to be a lot to dump on you like this.”

The next few hours go by with Merlin telling Harry about his life since they met each other— which, as it turns out, is a long time. Merlin is even able to fill Harry in on details he wasn’t there for. He tells Harry that instead of studying butterflies, he ended up going into the military, and how that led to Kingsman.

Eggsy sits quietly at attention besides the occasional glance and sad smile at you. Once Merlin gets to more recent events, Eggsy is able to chime in and tell things from his perspective, to confirm what sort of Man Harry’s been.

They both emphasize how much they’ve missed him and Harry nods along with a far off look. It’s… the best reaction you can expect. You can’t imagine how all of this must sound to him much less how it _feels_. After they’ve exhausted themselves, a blanket of silence falls over the room. You know Harry must be struggling to absorb this information. You suspect Eggsy and Merlin know him well enough to realize this as well. Another thing you know: it’s your turn for a bout of honesty with Harry. There’s a high chance he’ll hate you for it.

“Harry, I have some things to clarify as well. We haven’t been completely honest about what sort of facility this is. Merlin and Eggsy have told you that you were a spy. What we haven’t told you is that you’re at another spy organization called Statesman. We suspected you were an agent but with such little information to go off of, we didn’t think it would be helpful to tell you. We kept you here and helped you along with your recovery out of professional courtesy.”

“I see.” Harry murmurs.

“I know it’s a lot to take in, and I’m sure it feels like world-shattering information— and it _is_. I know you’ll need time to absorb this and decide what you want to do, but I’ll be here for you every step of the way. And now, Merlin and Eggsy are here for you too. They’ve technically known you longer than I have.”

“Yes, I suppose you’re right.” He pauses. “Thank you all for coming and telling me all this, but I’d like some privacy for the night if you don’t mind.”

Merlin nods. “Yes, of course, Harry. We’ll see you later.”

When Eggsy stands, you can see that it’s taking every ounce of his willpower to keep himself from striding over and hugging Harry. Eggsy’s insecurity with the whole situation is visible as he raises his hand to wave, some part of his consciousness tring to abort the motion the whole way through. You put your hand on his back, comforting him as you usher him out of the room. As the door shuts behind you, Eggsy lets out a harsh breath and brings his hands up to his face as he leans against the wall.

“Oh, Eggs. Come here.” You open your arms to him.

He glances up at you with barely contained tears in his eyes before he collapses into your arms.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Which part?” The words are a desperate breath out of his mouth. You can feel them brush against your neck as he says it.

“Any of it. All of it. I’ve always been there for you, to listen if nothing else. For once, I can be here to hold you through it if you don’t want to talk.”

He squeezes you tighter for a moment, taking a deep breath before he lets go. You can see him compartmentalizing as his face goes blank. It’s… unnerving. “Let’s talk to whoever we need to so we can wrap this up and go home.” He pauses. “Will you— can I stay with you while we’re out here?”

“Of course. I hate that this is how it had to happen, but all I’ve wanted since I moved here was to have you with me again.”

He nods. “Yeah, me too, love.”


End file.
